‘Terminate one baby.’ My weak heart couldn’t handle triplets. But as a triplet myself, I wanted all three.’: Triplet births triplets against all odds, delivers 3 ‘healthy, amazing little miracles’

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“Filip, Henrik, and Amelia are my triplets. They were born at the end of January by C-section. Their story is unique in many ways. I’m positive it’s not just my melted mom heart that makes me say their story is special.

I am 31 years old and I have two sisters, and they are 31 as well. That makes us triplets, too.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

Szilvia was the first born of us, while Sofia and I (second born) are identicals. We were born and raised in Budapest and after several years of growing apart from each other, we figured that in order to live a good and fulfilling life, we would have to stick together.

When I was 18 years old, I moved to the Netherlands and lived there for a few years until I moved to the United States. Sofia left Budapest too, but ended up in Oslo, Norway where she met the love of her life and married him. They gave birth to a beautiful son, but soon needed to go back to work. That’s when Szilvia came to the rescue when they needed help and moved to their same town. During her time there, she learned the language, fell in love, found herself a job, and just got married to her special person, Patrik, a week ago. I think it is her reward for being so kind and willing to help.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

Helping each other has always been a top priority. This is how we have always been with each other. If one of us needed help, we were there in a heartbeat. We have always been known to count on each other, which has given us a certain safety, knowing that we have never have to be alone. After some years in the States, I figured that my life could never be good enough if my sisters were not a part of it, daily. So, I decided to move to Oslo to be closer to my sisters. It has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my entire life.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

After just a few days in Oslo, the sun started shining brighter. Being able to see my sisters on a daily basis truly added some much needed light to my life. So, I decided very quickly that I would stay. In just 5 months of living there, I learned Norwegian, found myself a job I really enjoy. Oh, and I met Glenn!

The reason I am writing about my sisters is because the bond we have is very important and strong. It’s important to understand our bond in order to understand the struggle I went through at the beginning of my pregnancy.

But back to Glenn…

Glenn and I met on a dating site and after two days of chatting, we decided we wanted to meet up. Our first date was really amazing. We had so much to talk about and really hit it off. I learned that his grandparents were refugees from my hometown Budapest and came to Norway in 1956.

After our first date, we soon met again, and again. And after a week or so, we were hanging out nearly every single day. Our connection was just that strong. As with the beginning of our relationship, things moved quickly there on out.

About two months later, we decided to move in together. We found a wonderful place with a magical view and had the time of our lives. We traveled a lot and went on many adventures together. Glenn and my brother-in-laws quickly became really good friends and began spending a lot of time together. We were one big, happy family.

On one particular day, we decided it was time for us to have a baby. It just felt right. After a few months of trying elapsed, I got pregnant. We were so happy and excited! I booked an appointment to an early ultrasound.

The very second the doctor started the check up, she announced that I was having twins. To be honest, I was quite surprised, though I couldn’t exactly fathom what she was saying at first. When I did, I was nothing less than shocked. Twins?! We were only planning to have ONE child. I couldn’t help but worry about how everything would pan out for us. In the midst of my troubling thoughts, the doctor informed me that my pregnancy was still very early, so she could not yet see the beating hearts. All she could tell me was, ‘All looks fine so far.’

Glenn and I decided to book a new appointment with another doctor to make sure that those hearts were beating as they were supposed to. The appointment was scheduled for two weeks later.

When the day came, we were so excited. I entered the office and told the doctor that I knew I was expecting twins and that both Glenn and I were ecstatic about this (after the initial shock wore off).

We were almost done with the check up. I was 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant then. Glenn stood up from the chair he was sitting on and asked the smiling doctor, ‘Are you absolutely sure there are two babies?’  Next, the doctor took an extra look and grew silent. He was not saying a word… at all. I started to worry and thought that there was some sort of problem with my babies. As it turns out, there wasn’t a problem. But there was in fact another baby. ‘Actually, you’re having triplets!’ he announced.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

I felt as if the earth had completely stopped spinning around. Two had already sounded like a heap of work, but three?! It was not possible at all! ‘A triplet simply cannot have triplets,’ I thought. The chances are 1 in 6 million. I was terrified.

In an instant, I heard all of my mother’s stories flashing in my head. All of the times she mentioned how hard it was to take care of three babies at once, how heavy and risky the pregnancy was. I had a thousand thoughts and felt scared and shocked. I was pretty certain that my body would not be able to handle a triplet pregnancy. I have a weak heart and was operated on my heart some years ago. I have always known that a pregnancy would be challenging for me, much less carrying three babies at once. It would mean that my heart would have to pump blood for three extra people, which is a very hard work even for a healthy person.

After discussing my pregnancy and condition with several doctors, we were highly recommended to consider fetal reduction or, in other words, terminate one of my babies. And so we did.

I went to the one and only hospital in Norway which does the procedure and got a date set for the reduction. It was two weeks away from the very first appointment in the hospital. It was the hardest and most terrible two weeks of my entire life. For the sake of my two babies, I considered the whole thing as a must and just wanted to be done with it. I thought I could convince myself that this was the way it was supposed happen. I thought I wouldn’t feel bad because I was doing it for the safety of my children. But I had three babies, and my heart wanted all three.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

The hospital was a seven-hour drive from where we live in Oslo. When we got in the car and started our journey to Trondheim, another Norwegian city, both Glenn and I started crying. After three hours of driving, we decided to stop the stop and have a talk. At this point, it had been nearly two weeks that we couldn’t even look each other in the eye.

We managed to calm down and talk about our feelings. We were afraid of having three babies, but we were also afraid of losing them all or having them way too early. We talked and talked and talked. I told Glenn that I felt these babies had to be together, as me and my sisters were. That I could never imagine my life without Sofia and Szilvia and we must keep our three babies together, too.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

After some talking, we came to a conclusion. We decided that against all doctors recommendations, we would keep all three of our babies and hoped that all would miraculously work itself out against all odds.

And so it did. I had a difficult pregnancy and had some issues because of my weak heart, but all in all everything went fine. I managed to carry our trio until 34 weeks and gave birth to three healthy and amazing little miracles. Filip came first, then Amelia followed by her brother. Our tiniest little boy Henrik came to the world as the third.

Courtesy of Judit Agota
Courtesy of Judit Agota

They were so tiny but mighty. They couldn’t breathe on their own and had to spend three weeks in the NICU.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

After three weeks, we got to start our life as parents of triplets.

The babies are soon turning 6 months old. The past months has had many ups and downs. Having three babies is a lot of work! It is really true that it’s three times the love but three times the work. Both Glenn and I have experienced depression in the past months because our lives has changed so radically. Sleep deprivation has been real and it happens often that we get only three or four hours of sleep daily. Even if we are lucky and the babies are sleeping good, we still never get to sleep more than 5 and a half hours.

The house is covered in dirty laundry piles. Meeting friends, going out to watch a movie, or acting like a normal couple just isn’t possible.watch  Anything and everything is about the babies. Yet, even though it can get really tough at times, we have never once regretted our decision.

Courtesy of Judit Agota

We are so in love with our children that words cannot describe it.

I am already looking forward to reaching some special milestones. Luckily for me, I get to experience them three times! The thought of my babies having a strong bond like my sisters and I brings me so much joy. I know what it’s like being a triplet, and now I get to experience it from the outside looking in, watching and loving on my children every single day.”

Courtesy of Judit Agota
Courtesy of Judit Agota
Courtesy of Judit Agota

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Judit Agota. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

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