“Yesterday, I failed as a mom. And I don’t mean in a cutesy ‘OMG Fail’ kind of way. I mean I failed HARD.
I was late picking the kids up from school, causing my middle child to cry and instead of comforting her, I scolded her because I was so frustrated with myself. I then got sassy with a bank teller, which is not like me at all, and ended the evening making my oldest burst into tears at dinner.
I was 0/10 and instead of making anything better, I then picked a fight with my husband to top it off. I went to bed so utterly exhausted and defeated, feeling the weight of everything I was failing at crushing me like a physical elephant on my chest: the spelling test for my son today I had forgotten about, all of Sara’s reading logs and that packet of reading games I forgot to send back (or do), birthday present for my niece, the 10 million emotional needs my kids have had since switching schools, the game night I promised my kids but didn’t do, the laundry, the grocery shopping, the house cleaning, switching clothes Emmy is growing out of, Jake needs new shoes and he still can’t tie laces, my marriage in desperate need of well, something other than passing a baby back and forth… it’s all too much. It’s all so much.
Sometimes I just get so exhausted being the center of the family—because we are, aren’t we mamas? Everyone looks to us and it’s such a terrifying responsibility that I feel like I’m crumbling under right now.
And then this morning, I stopped for a coffee before taking my minivan to get fixed (also my fault for hitting my own mailbox and got this reminder from the lovely barista who was also nice enough to come out from behind the counter to hold the door open for me.
We will fail. We will have weak moments. We will lay in our beds and night and cry and wonder if our kids will wind up remembering that one time, we forgot to pick them up and if that becomes their defining life moment.
But we are also strong. And when we are not? Well, there’s always coffee—and hopefully a helping hand when we need it the most.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Chaunie Brusie, 33, of Michigan. Follow her journey on Instagram here. The article originally appeared here. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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