“Last night I had a restless night. I had chocolate before bed (real chocolate) so I always have crazy dreams.
In my sleep I swear I could hear ‘Save Me’ in a high pitch tone over and over and then the doorbell rang. I waited and then heard nothing but was scared it was someone at the door trying to get in who was in trouble.
I looked out the side window and it was very dark but could see a small shadow. I, crapping myself, commando rolled to our bedroom to wake up my husband, who could sleep through an earthquake. I rocked him like a seesaw and his eyes finally swung open and he gasped, clearly because my face in the middle of the night is so attractive, no other reason.
I told him, you need to get up someone is at the door and they’re yelling save me. His eyes widened and he looked at me like, ‘What?’
I said, ‘Someone is trying to freaking break in!!’
So, he grabs the bat, and walks towards the door and I hide behind him because you know, although I’m scared, I’m also too curious for my own good. He switched on the light, I stand back, he opens the door, and after a few seconds and I hear a loud bang. So, I screamed and peed myself a little, and ran into the toilet. Every man for himself, you know? And I can’t actually scream so it was more like a loud constipated moan. Which of course set off our dogs.
It was silent and 5 minutes passed, so I assumed he had been taken hostage by our would-be robbers, so I figure I better go out there and save him. I bravely went outside to see him standing there with the bat talking to the neighbor.
I thought my god they’ve been robbed too! Or they needed help! I got my phone ready to call the police and went outside saying, ‘Do you need me to call 911??’
He looked at me like he wanted to kill me and said ‘No one is here. It’s probably the wind, and you woke up the neighbor with, I don’t know what that sound was, but they thought you were dying.’
I asked him, ‘What was the loud bang?? Why is there water on the floor?’ And he looked annoyed at me and said ‘you left the mop bucket at the door and I tripped over it.’
Oops my bad. Then he said, ‘Wait, did you say the doorbell rang?’ And I said yeah, and I heard ‘Save me!’’
He just walked back to bed and went under the covers. I was thinking, uh hello?! Are you not concerned?
‘Go to sleep bub, our doorbell doesn’t work and hasn’t worked for about 4 months…’ oops, that was right…my bad again.
So, like a dickhead, I went back to bed. But found myself wondering what that little voice was saying ‘save me?’
As I drifted off to sleep, I soon realized. You know what it was? My nose whistling because I was snoring, and it sounded like a child saying, ‘Save me!’
If you want to know what sleep deprivation does to your brain, this is it people. This. Is. It.
P.s this was the shadow I saw lol. I don’t know how he puts up with me, but he must love me a lot.
P.P.S I don’t know what he and the neighbor talked about, but they gave me a goofy smile this morning. Lol.”
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