‘It feels like a violation of your body. The doctor or assistant may remind you, ‘It’s nothing different than sex, have you never had sex before?’

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“You can try your luck at conceiving naturally, but you will have to get an IVF done. There is no way out.’  My heart sank as I heard those words, and I couldn’t look straight at the doctor as my eyes filled with tears.

It had been 3 years since I got married to my college sweetheart in India and was only 28 years old then. Yes, we wanted babies, and not one but three. One day, due to peer pressure we went for a regular check up at the doctors clinic and to our shock, our dreams came crumbling down and were shattered before they could even turn into reality. He told me certain numbers were lower than they should be and things like that. I went into a depressive state of mind. I kept a strong face in front of people, always with a smile but I cried every day. I cried at the thought of never being able to have a child as I had heard so many stories about failed IVF. I cried at the thought of me being punished like this and God was being so unkind to me for nothing. I cried because I wanted children, not one but three.

Courtesy of Shraddha Fogla

After pulling myself together I made my husband buy a fancy ovulation tracker kit from abroad while he was on a business trip, as finding them here in India, at that time, was nearly impossible. We started with our weekly doctor visits. We got a stack of blood work done to make sure everything else was in place. It kept getting harder for us. Instead of having a glass of wine and trying to make babies I was sitting at the doctor’s office trying to understand this whole thing. I was getting fertility checks done on my most fertile days to see how many eggs were coming out and if they were healthy.

For those who don’t know, the method used to check fertility is vaginal ultra-sound. It feels completely normal to go through this check when pregnant as you can see your baby and you want to know if your baby is fine but it leaves a completely unnatural feeling when you are emotionally strained and mentally depressed. It feels like a violation of your body. In case you’re feeling super uncomfortable the doctor or their assistant may remind you it’s nothing different than sex, sometimes even commenting, ‘have you never had sex before?’ Well, this is nothing like having sex, there is no pleasure at all when you are lying on a cold hospital bed, with a machine inside you, trying to check your fertility rate. Yes, there it is, I said it.

Courtesy of Shraddha Fogla

After doing some research of my own about the medication I was prescribed I chose not to use it. A few days later I found out those medicines would have depleted my egg counts really fast. Why would the doctor prescribe it? I thanked God for my research and I understood He probably had something better in store for me than I could ever imagine. It was then I decided to move on.

They say positive thoughts attract everything good in life. You have to be head strong and decide to stay positive in every phase of life and you will attract positivity. Within a couple days, I met an amazing gynecologist who told me to take a vacation and go on a long trip, have fun and stop worrying about this. According to him nothing was wrong with my numbers and I was absolutely fine! You heard it right, I was absolutely and completely fine. The previous doctor made things up in order to get money! I am not saying this is the truth for everyone but here in India I’m definitely glad I listened to my gut and not the original doctor.

It was not until later that I conceived naturally and went for a check-up at just 6 weeks, when the doctor asked to do an internal ultra-sound, to which I reluctantly agreed. Immediately after the ultra-sound I started spotting and I lost my baby. I never got a chance to know if it was a boy or a girl. I lost the baby I prayed for so much, before I even got a chance to get to feel it or know him/her more. I never got a chance to hold it or tell my baby how I much I loved him/her.

I conceived again after two months NATURALLY and I decided to get the heartbeat checked post completion of 10 weeks. I now am a mother of 2 healthy and smart boys from the supposed bad eggs I had according to the doctor I first visited.

Courtesy of Shraddha Fogla

This is not just my story. These things happen in India to so many women who are unaware of the medicines and the procedures prescribed to them by these heartless doctors who just want to make money. With the huge population of our country these doctors take innocent people for a ride, sometimes even during the pregnancy or childbirth. I learned the harsh truth of life after going through it myself; these monsters can diagnose you with any medical condition they wish to.

One piece of advice for all the mothers out there when it comes to any medical situation please don’t hesitate to take second opinions from other doctors. Read and study about the medicines before you take them. We are blessed to be living in the age of technology, make use of it. Believe in yourself and do good. God is kind and he knows the best way. Believe in Him and in yourself.”

Courtesy of Shraddha Fogla

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Shraddha Folga You can follow her on Instagram hereDo you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.

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Read other inspiring stories of moms here: 

‘You realize the power of what your body has done’: Mom’s shocked reaction to 9-pound newborn is all-too-relatable’

‘If this turns positive, it is freaking baby Jesus,’ I said to my husband as I finished peeing on a pregnancy test. He was holding our newborn baby girl we just brought home through adoption.’

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