“Yesterday I had too much caffeine. I know this because I was still wide awake (but exhausted) at 3:30 this morning.
I’m not a big caffeine person and I don’t really need it to survive. I don’t drink coffee at all. I usually have a little bit of tea every day and occasionally a Coke. But I’ve been dealing with some personal mental and emotional issues (that I’m not quite ready to share) and that coupled with the chaos and stress of this time of year had me turning to more tea than usual and also a larger quantity of Coke than necessary. I capped the night off with a handful of chocolate and the last of a bottle of Big Red. It was a day of unhealthy choices!
Just as I was attempting to fall asleep for the first time around 10:30, I heard my oldest son whimpering in his room. This is so unusual that I raced down the hallway to check on him. Allergies are in full force around here and he was in a great deal of pain. I helped him get settled and relaxed and I sat with him until he fell asleep.
I tiptoed to my room and I just couldn’t shut off my brain. You name it, I thought about it. I scrolled through Instagram and Facebook for who knows how long. I wrote a rough draft of a blog post (in my head). I made a menu plan that I probably won’t follow.
I cried a little bit thinking about my dad and how much I miss him and wish he were here.
I fell asleep for a bit, but a weird dream jolted me awake. I tried a hot bath and a boring book. At 2:00 in the morning I attempted to organize my nightstand. At 3:00, I listened intently to the sounds a full house makes in the night. There were some creaks. There was silence. There was coughing and sniffling from one room, sighing and snoring from another, and the horrible sound of teeth grinding.
It’s probably no surprise to you then that I overslept this morning! My big kids missed the bus and it was because of me!! I loaded everyone into the car and drove the kids to school with plenty of time to spare, but boy is my head spinning and swimming today.
That’s life and motherhood in a nutshell, though. Some days are pretty and flawless and worthy of Pinterest. Other days you’re stuffing your face with chocolate at midnight and wondering how you got to this point.
Even in the thick of the messy and hard times, there’s still plenty of room for beauty. I haven’t watched my oldest son sleep in a long time and oh how it took my breath away. Driving the kids to school this morning gave us a chance to have some interesting and fun conversations we wouldn’t have had otherwise.
Wherever you are this morning, however your night went, join me in my attempt to see the beauty in the moment even if you are about to pull out your hair out or fall asleep standing up.
Let’s breathe in and embrace the now. Let’s find some time today to rest our minds and our bodies. Let’s try not to stress over things out of our control or sweat the things that don’t matter. Let’s take each trying moment in stride. Let’s drink plenty of water and do our best to make healthy choices. Let’s take it easy on the caffeine (and ourselves)!
Life happens when we embrace the moment (even when the moment is hard)!”