‘Mommy, change my diaper!’ Someday, I’ll quit using dry shampoo and be me again.’: Mom shares candid look at the loss of personal identity that comes with parenting

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“Someday I’ll be all me again.

Someday I’ll start to read grown-up books that interest and challenge me instead of books about finding little monsters and counting apples.

Someday I’ll dye my hair regularly and take care of my nails.

Someday I’ll choose my clothing as more of a fashion statement instead of knotting my shirt over a stain and wearing a skirt because all my pants are at the bottom of the hamper.

Courtesy of Nicole Miller

Someday I’ll quit using so much dry shampoo because I’ll have time to shower every night.

Someday I’ll spend hours in my craft room filling my soul while creating new things.

Someday the size in my pants may be a smaller number.

Someday I’ll drive a car that I like instead of a van that’s practical.

But right now isn’t that someday, because today my littles pull me in every direction.

‘Mommy, change my diaper.’
‘Mommy, I need a snack.’
‘Mommy, my legs hurt!’
‘Mommy, he hit me!’

I give bits of myself to them all day. I give them what they need.

Courtesy of Nicole Miller

I still know who I am, and I still feel whole. I’m just a little bit more mommy than I am anything else right now.

As time passes and my littles gradually turn into bigs, they’ll inevitably start to give me back the little bits of myself that I’ve given to them. And as parenthood goes, accepting them back will be more painful than giving them ever was.

Someday I’ll be all me again, but right now I’m ok with being mostly mommy.”

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Courtesy of Nicole Miller

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Nicole Miller. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

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