LOL
🤣
‘I totally biffed my first kindergarten car line drop off. Everything was going great, initially.’: Dad hilariously recounts running over traffic cone, ‘disaster’ of dad duties
“I was sweet and charming with the designated kid picker-upper teacher. And then… it. hit. the. fan. THUMP. I plowed over the ridiculously large orange traffic cone. The safety patrollers began frantically yelling at me, waving me down. I proceeded to army-crawl the entire length of the car, trying to pry out the stupid cone. I was a disaster.”
‘My boys asked me to build a fort. Seriously, it was amazing. Until they asked me to spend the night with them.’: Mom learns to accept all the things she ‘just can’t do anymore’
“I did it. I obliged. I smiled and pretended to have fun. I slept in that teeny tiny space. But I paid for it the next morning. Boy, did I ever. Y’all. I can’t do that anymore. I’m too old, or too grouchy, or too in-love with sleep. Whichever it may be, I just can’t do that anymore. I’d give just about anything for my 16-year-old body again.”
‘My husband ate 12 DOSES of Ex-lax. I called Poison Control because he thought he was dying. I literally cannot stop laughing.’: Wife hilariously recounts 39-year-old husband’s mistake, is ‘still crying’ and ‘unable to speak’ from laughing so hard
“The Poison Control guy was like, ‘The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash.’ DIAPER RASH! I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash. I completely lost it. He kept chuckling and going, ‘Oh boy. Oooooooh boy.’ I’m wheezing just thinking about it.”
‘We were 11,000 feet above sea level. I wanted to throw up. I instantly regretted this. But we’ve got to get that picture!’: Mom shares terrifying moment she ‘hated’ to encourage others to show their ‘true life’ moments too
“Our GPS was basically like, ‘You guys don’t want to go that way, PLEASE go this other way!,’ but we didn’t listen. Of course we wanted to go this way! I couldn’t get my balance. I was shaking with anxiety. But smile, everyone! Say cheese!”
‘I got a text from my son. ‘I’ve had Zeus for one whole night, and I’m already exhausted.’: Mom hilariously sits back and watches her son become a ‘dog dad,’ laughs at all his new ‘parenting’ responsibilities
“Who is Zeus, you ask? Great question, because I asked the same thing. Apparently, he has a dog. Not just any dog, but a Siberian Husky puppy. It’s cute and all, but if the dog is half as much work as my son was as a toddler, he’s totally screwed. In some ways, I want to warn him, but in others, my little black heart is smiling watching karma come full circle.”
‘Be baseball ready!,’ coaches yell. Each player squats down for 4 seconds before returning to shenanigans. Honestly his favorite part? ‘The snacks!’: Mom hilariously describes 5-year-old son’s ridiculous ‘zero attention span’ during T-ball
“For 20 minutes, these boys stand in the outfield waiting (hoping!) for a ball to get hit their way. Do you know what those boys are doing during that time? They’re looking at flowers growing in the grass. They’re kicking dirt around. They’re discussing the Paw Patrol episode where they save some big purple dinosaur. They give ZERO cares about the other team batting. Like, at all.”
‘My husband turned to me and said, ‘I have to poo.’ It’s like his ‘get out of jail free card.’ His way of saying, ‘I’m done here. You finish it.’: Fed up mom finally puts her foot down with husband’s lame excuse
“But today, I simply said ‘NO.'”
Mother of 6 admits new moms are ‘intimidating as heck’ and don’t want to welcome ‘new blood’: ‘Meeting mom friends is worse than dating. There, I said it!’
“When we first moved here, we knew no one. I knew one of the best ways to meet moms is to throw my kids into activities and hope I clicked with another mom. But friend circles were already formed. It feels like a hard ‘no’ when you’re trying to get on the inside.”
‘My son told me he got his girlfriend pregnant and they’re keeping the baby. He is 17 and she is 16.’ Dad shows son just how ‘easy’ parenting is with clever simulation
“According to him, having a child is ‘really not that hard’. We tried to persuade him to look at other options, but he immediately shuts down any talk of the situation. So, instead, I have decided to teach him that kids are more difficult than he thinks.”
‘I asked her when vacation starts. ‘In a week. I’m DREADING it. I already lied to my church and said Nicholas was 5 so he could go to Vacation Bible School.’ This warmed my soul.’
“One of my girlfriends called. We’ve been friends for almost 20 years. We sugarcoat nothing. Summer is NOT amazing. And if you ask your kids, it’s BORING. These vacation snapshots are the best 5 minutes of the day. The other 23 hours and 55 minutes are a complete cesspool.”
