“My mother was my best friend. She and I would always travel together. I could tell her anything and everything. I never imagined my life without her.
In 2016, I got the worse news anyone can get. My mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Luckily, her cancer was a stage 1, or so we thought. My mom had a few appointments with her gynecologist and they said the cancer was just in her uterus and that after having a hysterectomy, she would be okay. She had a hysterectomy in July of 2016 and after three radiation treatments, she was on remission. She even rang the bell and we cried together because she was ‘cancer free.’
Fast forward to February 2017, my mom had a small bowel obstruction which made us postpone our plans of seeing her first grandbaby be born in Charlotte, North Carolina. When this surgery was done, the scans showed no signs of cancer. This surgery was a setback, but that was okay because we eventually made it to North Carolina to meet my nephew. My mother wasn’t feeling well and we just kept thinking it was from the small bowel obstruction surgery she had. Little did we know that her cancer had come back.
On June 1, 2017, we went to City of Hope, a cancer treatment and research center, and were told that she had stage 4 liver cancer. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of me. I looked at my mother and she looked as calm as she could. But inside, I was going crazy. My mom kept telling me it was going to be okay and that she would do whatever it takes to live as long as she could. I asked the doctor how long she had to live, and he said 1 to 2 years. That was not enough time. I wasn’t ready to lose my mother. My husband and I rushed to plan a wedding that took place October 20, 2017 — but she didn’t make it. I was devastated.
I felt hopeless like I didn’t want to live anymore, but I knew she was reason I had to live because she was my everything. I felt horrible knowing I could not save her, but knew it was out of my control and God had other plans for her. When she passed, I knew she left happy because she knew I would be taken care of by my amazing husband, Javier. I honored her at our wedding by having her photos at the front of my reception. She was also on my bouquet so she was with me everywhere I went that day. She was with me as I walked down the aisle.
My mother was the best woman I have ever met in my whole entire life. I am not just saying that because she was my mother, but because it is the truth. She was the nicest and most caring woman. Every day is a constant struggle because I cannot call her anymore after work, I can’t hug her, I can’t kiss her, but I know one day we will be reunited. I have to continue being strong for her because I know she wants me to be happy. I know her mission was accomplished on planet earth and now she is watching me from up above, even though I cannot physically see her. My father Felipe, my brother Alex and all her family misses her dearly. Mother, I want you to know that you will always be my angel.
When I had my mother’s ashes turned into a necklace, I felt like she was close to my heart 24/7. She was there to guide me through difficult decisions throughout the day. I feel like words could never explain what an incredible, strong, beautiful, courageous woman she was.
She and I were so close that at times we would share a bed and just lay next to each other and talk about our days and what our future plans were as a mother and daughter. We talked about my future and my future children that she will never get to meet, but I know if I wear this necklace, she will always be there with me. I can point it out to my future children and say, ‘Even though grandma isn’t here physically, she is in our hearts forever.’
Make sure you appreciate and love your mother. No one can replace them. Learn to cherish every single day with your loved ones because we never know when our time is up.
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