‘Stop telling moms not to blink. It’s okay for us to miss some stuff.’ Mom’s candid response to those who claim ‘we only have 18 summers’ so ‘make your moments count’

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“I know you’ve seen and read the numerous articles telling us we have a limited number (18) of summers with our children, and that we must make the most of them.

I know you’ve seen and read the numerous articles from those who are peeved at the ‘make-your-moments-count’ timer and refuse to adhere to an ‘I can’t even blink, or I may miss something’ way of mothering and living.

Here’s my stance:

Stop telling moms not to blink.

It’s okay for us to miss some stuff.

We also take one-second naps when we blink, and we need all of the rest we can get.

I guess you could say I’m someone who rides the line between ‘we only have 18 summers’ and ‘don’t tell me we only have 18 summers.’

I’m a momma who can’t get enough of my kids, but quickly has ‘had enough,’ which I yell at those three tiny and innocent bystanders every 10 minutes like clockwork.

I’m a momma who claims I have no time to play because I have to do ALL THE THINGS, and then complains that I can’t play because I have to do ALL THE THINGS.

I’m a momma who longs to hug my kids when we are apart but pulls away from them when they are extending affection at an inconvenient time (like while I’m mid-laundry or working) or when I am feeling over-touched.

I am a momma who wants to be a SAHM but has turned into a WAHM and is struggling with giving both my work and my children my full attention.

You see, I am a momma who has wanted nothing more, her whole young life, than to be a wife and a mother, and here I am, being those things.

Well, guess what? It’s a lot harder than I ever imagined.

Marriage forces you to compromise more than you would ever care too, and then you birth these gorgeous and loving babies who outgrow your lap and lullabies, but never your mind or your heart, and they also require lots of compromises.

Even more than that, they require attention, a whole heap load of it, which includes providing them with nourishment, affection, positive energy, motivation, active listening, teaching – the list goes on and on.

Now, have these past eight years gone by in the blink of an eye?

For damn sure.

BUT, have most of those days gone by incredibly slow and been extremely draining, both physically and emotionally?

You betcha.

I used to feel like I was a hypocrite; a contradiction of a mother — a woman who claims she loves her kids but complains about the strenuousness of motherhood at every opportunity.

But, then I realized something.

If my past 2,920+ days as a mother have taught me anything, it’s that motherhood (and life in general) are not about extremes.

In no realistic version of parenthood is the day-to-day black and white full of either ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ moments.

Authentic parenting is merely you, your unique being, trying to improve yourself while trying to stay connected to another, while trying to raise little humans.

If you are tired after just hearing how I phrased that, imagine how exhausting that life must be to live.

The problem is that there is a group of people out there in the general public who contend that something so taxing can’t be beautiful.

Well, they are wrong.

Motherhood is beautiful, and it is messy.

It is gray, and it is smudged.

Motherhood varies in how it looks, it can alter how it presents itself daily, hourly, or even every few minutes.

Listen, mamas — you can be both the momma who doesn’t want to blink, but who still freakin’ blinks because she needs those brief breaks from her empowering yet fatiguing journey as a life guide for her children.”

Nicole Merritt of Jthreenme

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Nicole Merritt of Jthreenme, where the post originally appeared. You can follow her on Facebook, her website or podcast

Read more from Nicole:

‘My 7-year-old daughter asked me to snuggle. ‘I can’t. Someone has to clean up dinner, and APPARENTLY that someone is me,’ I told her, quite matter of factly.’

‘If not your breasts, they’ll attempt to convince you your worth depends upon your thigh gap, complexion, weight.’ Mom shuts down 8-year-old daughter thinking her body is ‘flawed’

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