alcoholic

‘I’m too scared to go back,’ I told my mom. His voice paralyzed me. I lived in fear he’d kill my mother.’: 23-year-old adopted by stepfather who ‘never ceased to fight’ for her during childhood trauma with biological dad

“I lived in 2 different worlds. Five days a week I was in a picture-perfect home with a beautiful stay-at-home mom. But the remaining 2 days, I was in survival mode. I remember watching the clock tick by, counting down the time I had left in my safe haven before I’d have to get in the car and enter my second world. My biological dad had trained me well, so I kept his secrets. I’d stare at the window in my bedroom, hands on the frame, trying to build enough courage to slip out of it and run.”

‘She may never walk again,’ my doctor said. ‘Like hell,’ I thought. I was 17. I’d been in a car accident.’: Single mom overcomes crippling car accident, alcoholism, daughter’s autism diagnosis, says ‘don’t count yourself out’

“I was about to move out, but I found out I was pregnant. I was running on fumes. I felt like I’d made a huge mistake becoming a mom. I wasn’t good at this. I drank to cope. My marriage ended explosively. I finally decided enough was enough when my daughter started copying everything I do. She reached for my beer, and I remember deciding, it was time to be done. For good. That was 8 months ago.”

‘I’d always drank too much. I never thought it would get worse when I had children.’: Mom admits ‘wine o’clock’ was always on her mind, when she turned to alcohol to cope, she ‘never saw it coming’

“Having breastfed my little one for 18 months in a sleep deprived haze, the day after I stopped, I quickly went back to bad habits. All of a sudden I was ‘allowed’ to drink in excess again. I thought this was what I deserved. It was my time. ‘Wine o’clock’ was always on my mind. When 5 p.m. came, I took that as my cue for freedom. I started to drink myself into a state of numbness.”

‘I found his gun while blacked out. I held it to my head, trying to pull the trigger. His roommate ripped it away.’: Woman’s life has changed ‘drastically’ since becoming sober, turned her ‘nightmare’ into a ‘blessing’

“I felt awful, like I had hundreds of other mornings. But this day, something was different. My friend told me a story of my actions. While blacked out, I ran behind the bar where my ex worked. I started hitting him. Something in me snapped. THAT was my breaking point. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was quiet for a moment, then I said with tears in my eyes, ‘That’s it. I’m done.’”

‘I sat there and cried, a shotgun in hand, my son in the next room. I was taken away in an ambulance while he slept.’: Woman overcomes suicide, years of addiction, says there’s ‘always possibility for change’

“He proposed. I thought marriage would fix my problems. 3 weeks before the wedding, I got fired, wrecked my car, and burned my foot to the 3rd degree. I couldn’t stay sober. That’s when he told me he couldn’t marry me and he cancelled the wedding. My attorney looked at me and told me I was looking at prison time. There was nothing more I could do.”

‘I took LSD and had a ‘bad trip.’ My whole life shattered. When I began to ‘come down,’ the panic didn’t leave.’: Woman finally ‘free of the prison’ she made for herself after treating alcoholism

“I was living life on the edge; it felt glamorous and sophisticated. Then at 17, everything went horribly wrong. I went into drug-induced psychosis, but at the time I had no idea what was happening. I almost got married to a man I didn’t love because I thought that marriage would ‘save me.’ I eventually went to the doctor and told him everything.”

‘Babe, I’m so excited. REALLY excited!’ On the way to deliver our baby, we were struck by a drunk driver.’: Woman loses husband to car crash hours before childbirth, ‘I had everything and lost everything all at once’

“Ricky rubbed my belly. I looked up at him as we passed a green light. Suddenly, everything went numb and black. I awoke upside down in a ditch, locked in my seat belt, my water broken. I was 41 weeks pregnant. Ricky lay beside me. I held his hand and kept checking his pulse. His breathing slowed. At the hospital, they tried to find my baby’s heartbeat for 10 minutes. ‘This is all a nightmare,’ I kept thinking to myself.”

‘My best friend let me in on a secret. She was receiving methadone treatments for a heroin addiction. ‘What?’ I was so young and naïve.’: Woman finally breaks cycle of toxic relationships to trust her ‘intuition’

“She finally went into rehab. Not long after, she disappeared. One day, I had a guest. ‘Maya!’ I was excited to see her. She was super off and shaky. She didn’t even come into the house, just stood at the door. Immediately my heart sunk. I knew what was happening. I told her I loved her. ‘Please call me when you’re better.’”

‘I knew from the moment I saw you, that I wanted you.’ I got scared, and rightly so. Then came the pressure for sex. I was a virgin.’: Woman’s survives narcissistic relationship with her ‘best friend’ despite him ‘tormenting’ her

“‘You don’t love me if you don’t do everything I want in bed,’ he claimed. He stormed out, pushing me away in the process. I came after him, as always. I had been conditioned. He was drinking in my parking lot. We argued, agreed to put it behind us, and went to bed. ‘Don’t tell anyone what happened, even your family,’ he told me.”

‘I made the decision to cut my mom out of my life. Now that I’m a mom, I wish she was there to guide me. I wish my children knew her. But I know she won’t change.’ Mom explains heartbreaking decision to protect her kids

“There were no I love you’s. I remember her spending a lot of time in bed, flying off the handle easily, expecting a lot out of everyone while she gave the minimum. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was she a drug addict? Or was she just a bad person? I vow to give my children everything my mom could not give me.”

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