alcoholic

‘I loved my older cousin. At 8, I learned the only way to be friends with him was to have sex with him.’: Daughter and mother in addiction recovery together after years of childhood trauma, ‘If that isn’t wonderful, I don’t know what is’

“I remember the bright red carpet in his closet. This ongoing ‘event’ became our secret, I held onto this secret for close to 15 years. I never got over what happened to me, I stuffed it so far down. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I finally surrendered. I had enough. I needed to give myself a chance to live.”

‘I knew a nightly glass of wine was nothing to be ashamed of. But a whole bottle? That gets people talking.’: Former wine mom now ‘alcohol free,’ says she ‘found life leaving the glass behind’

“Once the wine hit my throat, it never stopped. My desire to hold on to that feeling of lightness would lead me to pour another glass, then another. More nights than not, I emptied the bottle and stuffed it deep in the recycling so no one would see it. I got tired of pretending, of hiding, of going to bed stupid drunk. To quit drinking sounded scary. But even scarier? Losing everything if I didn’t.”

‘I was dating a guy. He ended it. He didn’t see a future because, ‘while he was partying, I’d just stand there.’: Woman recalls the perks of dating sober, says ‘you value yourself,’ learn this ‘awesome thing’ called ‘standards’

“I used to consider going to the bar and getting hammered a ‘date.’ It’s nice to learn about a person and actually remember it now, rather than waking up the next morning and thinking, ‘Wow, this guy drinks as much as me – so I know he won’t judge me. He’s a keeper.’”

‘I’m too scared to go back,’ I told my mom. His voice paralyzed me. I lived in fear he’d kill my mother.’: 23-year-old adopted by stepfather who ‘never ceased to fight’ for her during childhood trauma with biological dad

“I lived in 2 different worlds. Five days a week I was in a picture-perfect home with a beautiful stay-at-home mom. But the remaining 2 days, I was in survival mode. I remember watching the clock tick by, counting down the time I had left in my safe haven before I’d have to get in the car and enter my second world. My biological dad had trained me well, so I kept his secrets. I’d stare at the window in my bedroom, hands on the frame, trying to build enough courage to slip out of it and run.”

‘She may never walk again,’ my doctor said. ‘Like hell,’ I thought. I was 17. I’d been in a car accident.’: Single mom overcomes crippling car accident, alcoholism, daughter’s autism diagnosis, says ‘don’t count yourself out’

“I was about to move out, but I found out I was pregnant. I was running on fumes. I felt like I’d made a huge mistake becoming a mom. I wasn’t good at this. I drank to cope. My marriage ended explosively. I finally decided enough was enough when my daughter started copying everything I do. She reached for my beer, and I remember deciding, it was time to be done. For good. That was 8 months ago.”

‘I’d always drank too much. I never thought it would get worse when I had children.’: Mom admits ‘wine o’clock’ was always on her mind, when she turned to alcohol to cope, she ‘never saw it coming’

“Having breastfed my little one for 18 months in a sleep deprived haze, the day after I stopped, I quickly went back to bad habits. All of a sudden I was ‘allowed’ to drink in excess again. I thought this was what I deserved. It was my time. ‘Wine o’clock’ was always on my mind. When 5 p.m. came, I took that as my cue for freedom. I started to drink myself into a state of numbness.”

‘I found his gun while blacked out. I held it to my head, trying to pull the trigger. His roommate ripped it away.’: Woman’s life has changed ‘drastically’ since becoming sober, turned her ‘nightmare’ into a ‘blessing’

“I felt awful, like I had hundreds of other mornings. But this day, something was different. My friend told me a story of my actions. While blacked out, I ran behind the bar where my ex worked. I started hitting him. Something in me snapped. THAT was my breaking point. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was quiet for a moment, then I said with tears in my eyes, ‘That’s it. I’m done.’”

‘I sat there and cried, a shotgun in hand, my son in the next room. I was taken away in an ambulance while he slept.’: Woman overcomes suicide, years of addiction, says there’s ‘always possibility for change’

“He proposed. I thought marriage would fix my problems. 3 weeks before the wedding, I got fired, wrecked my car, and burned my foot to the 3rd degree. I couldn’t stay sober. That’s when he told me he couldn’t marry me and he cancelled the wedding. My attorney looked at me and told me I was looking at prison time. There was nothing more I could do.”

‘I took LSD and had a ‘bad trip.’ My whole life shattered. When I began to ‘come down,’ the panic didn’t leave.’: Woman finally ‘free of the prison’ she made for herself after treating alcoholism

“I was living life on the edge; it felt glamorous and sophisticated. Then at 17, everything went horribly wrong. I went into drug-induced psychosis, but at the time I had no idea what was happening. I almost got married to a man I didn’t love because I thought that marriage would ‘save me.’ I eventually went to the doctor and told him everything.”

‘Babe, I’m so excited. REALLY excited!’ On the way to deliver our baby, we were struck by a drunk driver.’: Woman loses husband to car crash hours before childbirth, ‘I had everything and lost everything all at once’

“Ricky rubbed my belly. I looked up at him as we passed a green light. Suddenly, everything went numb and black. I awoke upside down in a ditch, locked in my seat belt, my water broken. I was 41 weeks pregnant. Ricky lay beside me. I held his hand and kept checking his pulse. His breathing slowed. At the hospital, they tried to find my baby’s heartbeat for 10 minutes. ‘This is all a nightmare,’ I kept thinking to myself.”

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