battling miscarriage

‘There’s not just one healthy baby. There’s TWO!’ My husband fell to the floor in shock. I had a huge pit in the bottom of my stomach. ‘There must be some mistake!’ 

“She stepped out of the room to give my OB a call. My mind went crazy. She must’ve been calling for backup. I was crying in complete confusion. Two? TWINS? No one gets pregnant and thinks ‘Yay! I’m going to have babies!’ It’s always, ‘Yay! I’m going to have A baby!’ But I had this strange feeling in my chest.”

‘I want my baby sister back!’ my daughter yelled, her arms stretching towards the river. I wanted her back, too.’: Mom ‘honors’ miscarried baby in emotional lakeside ceremony

“I walked into the hospital pregnant, and I walked out not pregnant. Without a baby in my arms to cuddle, to love on, to hold close to me. I wanted to visually part with my baby, for my own sense of peace. ‘You don’t want to see that. It’ll look like mush,’ my doctor said. What he didn’t realize was that ball of ‘mush’ was my baby. It would’ve been beautiful to me.”

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