binge eating

‘Oooh tough week? What happened, honey?’ I was 15. Women I’d never met were commenting on my weight.’: Woman discovers intuitive eating, self-love after struggling with weight for years, ‘My children will see a vibrant, smart, STRONG woman’

“’Really? That’s what you’re going to eat for breakfast?’ I vividly remember holding my two pieces of cinnamon toast in my trembling hands. Every single one of my siblings had already toasted their bread, buttered it, and sprinkled it with cinnamon and sugar. Yet, I was the only one singled out by my grandpa. Age 15, I began attending meetings every week with my mother. Strange adult women would applaud and beam at me. I was given jewelry to celebrate my ‘hard work.’ Women twice my age would ask what my ‘secret’ was.”

‘Why are you so loud, Nicole?’ a boy asked. ‘You can’t be fat AND loud.’ That moment set something off in me.’: Woman shares extreme weight loss journey, ‘The joy I’ve felt is indescribable!’

“The summer after I got clean, I was at an amusement park with friends. I recall waiting in line for rides and pleading with God, ‘Please, please let me fit.’ I even told the attendant, ‘You can push as hard as you can, I promise you won’t hurt me.’ As 3 people pushed down on the lap bar, I remember tears welling up in my eyes. I turned to my then boyfriend and said, ‘I need help. I’m going to eat myself to death.’ The straps didn’t fit. I couldn’t fit into a single ride.”

‘If I’d arrived 15 minutes later, I’d have been dead. I woke in hospital after almost drinking myself to death on an empty stomach, in reaction to my relationship ending.’: Woman thrives after no longer allowing eating disorder to ‘take away my voice’

“The look on my parents’ faces when I asked them what had happened and why I was there, broke my heart. I never thought I’d be one of those anorexics or bulimics who ‘took it too far.’ I started seeing glimpses of what it was like to feel happy without feeling hollow.”

‘It started innocent. I figured I’d skip a few meals, run more. I never imagined the horrible, disgusting things I’d do to myself. I had only wanted to lose 15 pounds.’

“At first, it was run-of-the-mill diet talk. ‘Cut carbs! No dairy!’ Then I saw picture upon picture of skin-and-bone bodies. I was repulsed and intrigued. Soon enough, I started feeling guilty if I wasn’t cutting out meals. I spent hours a day fantasizing about food. I’d cry in the mirror as I plugged calories into my food journal.”

‘I shouldn’t have met him in a public space. I thought he was safe. He ‘knew me well enough’ to engage in a physical relationship.’: Woman shares incredible weight loss journey after ‘tumultuous’ breakup, sexual assault

“In high school, I was healthy. Then suddenly at 16 my world turned upside down. I began dating my high school boyfriend. The beginning was like a whirlwind. I felt so in love, I was positive I’d spend the rest of my life with him. I’d like to say everything was his fault, but we were both to blame. I was suffocating but couldn’t imagine living a life without him.”

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