body

‘I have the perfect body. I really do.’: Mom shamelessly celebrates ‘thick, swollen’ body after multiple pregnancies, admits it’s ‘pretty darn incredible’

“My breasts are downward, swollen, and veiny, but they’ve supplied 4,560 meals. My thighs are speckled with cellulite, but they’ve walked 1.8 million steps carrying a toddler or pushing a stroller. My stomach is a big white balloon ready to pop, but my babies lived and thrived in it for 27 months. My arms are twice as thick, but they’ve rocked a newborn to sleep 1,200 times. And that happens to be pretty freaking awesome.”

‘The receptionist says, ‘Peter will be out with you soon.’ I smile and think, Peter? Peter better be a girl. Don’t panic. He says, ‘Laura?’ Real slowly. I sigh and say, ‘Yep that’s me.’ FML.’

“I never get pimples on my back. Never… but occasionally my body says, ‘Hey, remember what it’s like to be 14? Well here’s an eruption for you and I got a real big juicy one right in the middle of my back.’ I think it’s all good because, she’s a woman, she will get it. ‘No no no No. NO.'”

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