“I was living life on the edge; it felt glamorous and sophisticated. Then at 17, everything went horribly wrong. I went into drug-induced psychosis, but at the time I had no idea what was happening. I almost got married to a man I didn’t love because I thought that marriage would ‘save me.’ I eventually went to the doctor and told him everything.”
‘I took LSD and had a ‘bad trip.’ My whole life shattered. When I began to ‘come down,’ the panic didn’t leave.’: Woman finally ‘free of the prison’ she made for herself after treating alcoholism
‘The nurse asked my husband, ‘Do you know your wife is an alcoholic?’ He knew. ‘Was the cop there for me?,’ I thought, frozen in fear.’
“I ended up buying a $1,500 puppy at the mall, taking a picture on the mall Santa’s lap by myself and checking into a hotel. Apparently, I walked from the hotel to an outdoor mall where I was arrested in a blackout for ‘drunk walking’ in public. Yes, I was arrested by the mall cops.”
‘Molly, I am sick again. I promise I’m going to get better this time.’ I hang up, but she is all I can think about. How can I love her so much, and be such a constant source of disappointment?’
“I don’t want to catch a glimpse of her beautiful face in my mind. It hurts too much. She is so perfect. How can she still utter the words, ‘It’s okay mom, I love you’? I don’t deserve her love or her forgiveness.”
‘I began filling my coffee mug with wine and volunteering in my children’s classrooms. I kept it my secret. I was a closet drunk.’
“After binging 3 bottles and passing out, I woke up in the hospital with a .43 blood alcohol level. Child Protective Services were called. At that moment I knew I needed help.”
‘I was sexually assaulted. I decided this was going to become a long suicide. I was a loser, complete trash, and I sold my soul to drugs and alcohol.’
“Here I was at 23, with Multiple Sclerosis and I needed a wheelchair. I grew into a deep depression. The party had ended. My mother would have to bathe me, feed me, dress me. I’d repay her with years of heartache. Also in these years, I found opiates.”
‘I woke up in jail, my hands and ankles handcuffed because I’d refused the breathalyzer test. My kids had been in the backseat.’: Woman beats addiction after several years of drug and alcohol abuse
“I drank nightly, but not always excessively. I thought I was in control. A few months later, I found myself living a literal nightmare. Simply getting drunk wasn’t enough. I’d drink well past the point of feeling good. But I wasn’t getting drunk until after I put my daughter to bed. I always got to work on time and performed well each day, so I refused to believe I had a problem.”
‘I swallowed a bottle of pills. This was the beginning of not wanting to exist anymore. I ended up in the psych ward.’
“All through high school I was the good kid. I was in Student Council, soccer, and a cheerleader. Teachers trusted me. I was a fake.”
