bulimia

‘My brother started the ‘naked man’ game when I was 6. I felt so empty I thought I might just float away.’: Woman overcomes sexual trauma, now uses kindness as an ‘act of rebellion’

“I walked home in a dress, but no underwear. I told my mom and dad I was staying with a friend, and then went into the operating room to have my right fallopian tube removed along with the baby that would never be. I went home the next day and said, ‘I feel like I have the flu’ and went straight to bed. My cry for help didn’t work. Nobody noticed. Nobody asked if I was okay. I knew if I didn’t start fighting for myself, I’d end up dead.”

‘I dropped 10 sizes on a starvation diet. ‘Wow, you look GREAT!’ I basked in compliments, but deep down I wanted someone to grab me and say, ‘Hey, I think you need help.’ Woman explains why congratulating weight loss is ‘problematic’

“I dropped to one meal a day. Coffee for breakfast, Red Bull at 3 p.m., light dinner. They’d look and say, ‘Congrats! You look awesome!’ It made me feel REALLY good. But part of me wanted to shout in their faces. They might as well have said, ‘That not-eating thing you’re doing? Totally working. Keep it up!’ It fueled me.”

‘I was afraid of having a girl because of my mother. Into my teens, she taunted me about my weight. I was terrified.’: Mom’s candid fear about having daughter after her mom caused childhood PTSD, eating disorder

“The ultrasound technician asked me, ‘Alright, are you ready?’ I asked with excitement, ‘Is it a boy?!’ She shook her head. ‘Nope.’ ‘It’s a girl?’ I was hoping I misunderstood her. ‘Yes,’ she said. My heart sank. I felt it would be impossible to have a successful relationship with a daughter.”

‘It started innocent. I figured I’d skip a few meals, run more. I never imagined the horrible, disgusting things I’d do to myself. I had only wanted to lose 15 pounds.’

“At first, it was run-of-the-mill diet talk. ‘Cut carbs! No dairy!’ Then I saw picture upon picture of skin-and-bone bodies. I was repulsed and intrigued. Soon enough, I started feeling guilty if I wasn’t cutting out meals. I spent hours a day fantasizing about food. I’d cry in the mirror as I plugged calories into my food journal.”

‘Do you ever worry about dying? You’re killing yourself.’ She was right.’: ‘Misguided teenager’ credits her unexpected pregnancy for saving her life after ‘horrible’ eating disorder

“I found out I was pregnant. I was confused with shock and happiness, but I was so scared. How could someone like me, who can barely keep herself alive, care for someone else? I couldn’t even give myself nourishment, so how was this small baby supposed to get any? I had my first ultrasound, and everything was crystal clear. I was going to make this small dot live, no matter what. It wasn’t about me anymore. It was about this small being inside me that NEEDED me.”

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