child

‘His head was his hands. ‘It’s over! I ruined everything! Call the daycare. Tell them we can’t send the kids anymore.’ I used to hide in the bathroom to cry, but always kept my calm in front of him.’

“We had another baby, we were happy. Things were great, until they weren’t. I’ll never forget the day when I called in sick because of a bad migraine. An hour after my husband left for work, he called to tell me the bad news. He was crying, I could barely understand what he was saying.”

‘My son was screaming, ‘That thing on her chest popped!’ The doctor bandaged it up and told me to change it once a day. Um, yeah. Ok. Have you ever tried taking a bandage off a 4-year-old? Like giving a cat a bath.’

“My son came in. He knew he had to act. He took a bandage from the counter and presented his little sister with a simple question. ‘If I put this bandage on me, and let you take it off, will you let Mom take off yours?’ She pondered the idea, then nodded in agreement. He was going to protect her forever.”

‘I got with my boyfriend in July. By November, I was pregnant. We had been ‘irresponsible.’ We dealt with it. I convinced myself I’d killed my baby. I couldn’t look at my daughter without crying.’

“The thing is, I also got pregnant many years before at age 24. It was the first time I’d had unprotected sex, and I had split up with the father. Having a termination was my only option. This has hugely troubled me the past 3 years, but I’m not ashamed to talk about it.”

‘I grew up obsessed with Little House on the Prairie. I wanted to give my children a simplified childhood. One with very few electronics. I really took a step back on how I’m raising my kids.’

“I want them to be KIDS and not someone I am trying to keep entertained. I want them to spend their summers the way their dad and I did. I want them to learn how to play Red Rover, Capture the flag, and Marco Polo. I want them to have tire swings, chalk, climbing trees, and mud pies. I want their finger nails to be dark brown from playing in the dirt.”

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