deliver

‘I’ve been on maternity leave for exactly 6 weeks. I couldn’t imagine heading back to work today.’: Mom insists it’s just ‘not enough time’ to ‘connect with our babies’

“In 6 weeks that I’ve been home, I haven’t slept more than 4 hours at a time. My days revolve around changing diapers, nursing and pumping, and trying to figure out why my baby is crying. And while my motherly instincts are loud and clear, we are nowhere near a daily routine yet. I couldn’t imagine going back to work right now.”

‘Hey Dad, I want to raise your son. I want him as my own,’ I insanely told my dying father. ‘I didn’t want to put that burden on you,’ he said. He died just 18 hours later.’

“‘Adopt him. You’re supposed to be his mom. You’re the one. Tell your dad. Tell him now.’ My dad visited me in dream. I was standing in a white room. He walked towards me holding a baby wrapped in a light blue blanket. He handed him over, smiled and kissed the baby’s head. When I woke up, I knew.”

‘I yelled to my husband, ‘This is the only child you’re getting, I can’t do this again!’ The doctor had to take the baby out in a split second. He was purple, had the cord around his neck, not crying.’

“The waiting game absolutely killed me. I was crying, desperate and confused. I felt like somebody was trying to take my baby away. My husband and I had to plan to spend time together. Our marriage and our relationship come before everything, and we don’t take it lightly.”

‘I was in high school, crammed in a car with my girlfriends, driving to the hospital to support our best friend, who was about to place her baby boy into the arms of a woman she didn’t know, and say goodbye to him forever.’

“By the time we got to the hospital she had already delivered him. I remember walking in the room to see my beautiful friend laying there, a sheen of sweat still visible on her forehead, tired, solemn and more quiet than usual – and thinking she was the bravest, strongest, person I’d ever known.”

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