first born

‘What is it like? To be a mom?,’ she asked, while clutching her barely pregnant belly.’: Mother of 5 says she didn’t want to ruin friend’s ‘sweet anticipation’ with the ‘harsh truth’ of parenting

“A friend of mine is expecting her first child. I laughed, because she was so excited. So earnest. I didn’t want to dash through her sweet anticipation with the harsh truth. My energy was drained. I was in survival mode. With days like this, comes guilt. I want to tell her all this, but then I consider maybe I should tell her about the other side of parenthood. The good stuff.”

‘You are our guinea pig. You taught us how to be parents. We had no clue what we were doing.’: Mom pens emotional letter to her ‘first-born child,’ apologizes she didn’t get to ‘hold the spotlight for long’ after new babies came along

“You didn’t get to hold the spotlight for long, did you? You were my only baby for such a short amount of time. You’ll never remember when you had my full attention, or that you didn’t have to fight for space on my lap. You won’t remember sitting around the table with just your father and I for dinner, or how we used to hover over you at the playground. You won’t remember how much we worried. But we will.”

‘To my child who gets dragged from place to place because of your siblings, I have guilt. We go to THEIR play spaces, sports, summer camp pickups. And you are constantly waiting.’: Mom apologizes to her ‘drag-along child’

“You wait as I get your siblings ready for the day. You wait as I break up their fights. You wait as I load them into the car, in tears of frustration because you need me, but I need to get them somewhere by a certain time. I don’t get enough chances to take all of you in, to enjoy your coos and smiles. You don’t have all of me.”

An Open Letter to My First Born

“Nine years is a long time to be ‘the only’ and you’ve been so much more than my only- you’ve been my every.”

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