grieving

‘The doctor kept saying ‘your daughter’ in his last moments. Through gritted teeth I said, ‘He is a boy.’: Dad silent for 10 years after losing twin, urges ‘ask your sad friend about the sad thing you never talked about’

“10 years ago, my son died. I’ve never talked about it with anyone but my wife. It’s taken 10 years to realize I want to talk about it all the time. Public talk of grief is very, very weird. It’s all ‘sorry for your loss’ and tilted heads, cards with calligraphy and whispering. We’re on tiptoes all the time. But grief is not one thing. It’s not just sadness. It’s a galaxy of emotions put in orbit by the loss of someone you loved.”

‘I flat out asked, ‘Would I be able to take my own photos during my C-section?’ She looked puzzled.’: Woman photographs her own C-section after losing baby in same OR last year, ‘That is empowering as hell’

“Mike shouted, ‘It’s a boy!’ I was clicking away, fighting back tears, trying to see my new babe, focus my camera. This was a surreal experience. Just 371 days before, in the exact same OR, our little Clark was also pulled out at this exact same spot. But there was no crying, no excited cheers, no shouts of ‘it’s a boy!’ He was born still. We knew our Clark sent this little one from heaven to be with us. Teddy’s birth was not only empowering, it was incredibly healing, too.”

‘Would I get more male attention?’ I worried how it would look. Would I feel ashamed?’: Widow removes wedding ring after husband’s death, ‘He is with me. Nothing will ever change that.’

“I silently made the decision to remove my ring. I worried about being seen as a single mother, a single woman. ‘Would I feel judged? Would they think differently of me?’ I wasn’t ‘over it.’ But I was going out with girlfriends for girl’s night. It wasn’t that I was looking to meet someone. But as I awoke that next morning, I couldn’t help but feel paralyzed by sadness.”

‘You can’t put me in ICU Room 6. My mom just died there last week.’: Young woman miraculously survives pulmonary embolisms just one week after mom dies of ‘broken heart’

“I lost my best friend. ‘What am I supposed to do now?’ All I’d ever known was taking care of my mother. Suddenly, I felt a tightness in my chest. ‘Well here is the panic attack I’ve been waiting for since she died.’ I arrive at the ER. The doctor came in. I remembered her. She was the doctor who admitted my mom. My heart rate shot up in panic. I looked her right in the eyes. ‘You can’t put me in Room 6. My mom just died there last week.’”

‘It snapped me awake. What I thought was snoring, was actually the ‘death rattle.’: Woman remarries after high school sweetheart’s sudden death, creates big, blended family with new husband, ‘I love my husband’s ex-wife’

“I found myself breaking my set of rules with him right away. I never got in a car with someone. I went for a drive with him on the first date, to the middle of nowhere, to ‘look for owls.’ I told him to invite Meredith (his ex) over for Christmas morning. He was confused. I love my husband’s ex-wife.”

‘I’m sorry. There’s no brain activity.’ My baby was turning orange. ‘Turn off the machines.’: Baby ‘brain dead’ after contracting Common Cold Sore, ‘hold your babies a little tighter tonight’

“We were told, ‘Her numbers look good on paper, but she won’t survive.’ The cold sore virus spread. She’d never leave the hospital alive. Before they turned off all the love-sustaining machines, I said goodbye to my first and only child. I watched as she struggled to breathe and turned blue in my arms. All I could do was hold her tightly, and cry. I watched her last breath. I died with her.”

‘Unlock the door!’ I begged you. We had a big fight. You wrote your goodbye letter.’: Woman loses veteran husband to suicide, ‘I see you everywhere I look’

“I heard our bedroom door shut. I thought you were just going to shower. Your body hit the floor. You were struggling. I tried to kick it in. ‘How the hell do people do this?!’ I ran downstairs and knocked on the neighbors’ doors. They didn’t answer. I was terrified. Before I could even react, EMTs were rushing upstairs. They put the flag over you.”

‘Blake’s not breathing!’ The daycare lady put him on his back. He was found face down in the pack n’ play.’: Mom delivers 2 ‘rainbow babies’ after losing son to SIDS, ‘he still plays a part in their lives’

“I didn’t get any more details than that. I hung up, flew out the door. The ER receptionist said to me, ‘Who are you here to see?’ The girl beside her hit her on the arm. ‘She is THAT baby’s mom!’ She then asked for my insurance card. ‘This is the least of my worries right now! I need to see my baby!’ Before I walked through the door, I thought I heard a baby cry. I thought everything was okay. I was completely wrong.”

‘No one can take this pain away, so I must take it away myself. Lay me next to my daughter.’: Mom speaks candidly of ‘suicidal thoughts’ in wake of stillbirth, ‘I wouldn’t wish this on anyone’

“There are no visible wounds, but the pain courses through my entire being. I breathe in through my nose, blow out of my mouth. I’m alive, but being alive without my daughter hurts. I can’t wipe the tears away. It’s too much effort. I can’t move, even if I wanted to. I don’t want to pee. Eat. Shower. Brush my teeth. I see my dad’s face, and he wants me here. To hold on. To live.”

‘How can I smile when Justin is dead? How can I ever smile again?’: Mom feels immense ‘guilt’ for enjoying newborn son after husband’s sudden death by ‘stray bullet’

“I remember the exact moment I first smiled again after Justin died. I’d cried so much, I was caught off guard when it happened. I was a new mom. Instead of celebrating a life, I was mourning one. Days after our son was born, he was killed by a stray bullet. My friend was next to me, ‘Honey, it’s okay to smile at your baby.’ I protested. But then I realized, ‘OH MY GOD, I’M MISSING OUT ON MY BABY!’”

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