“BAM! He dies of freaking brain cancer. Yeah, I was pissed. What in the heck was I going to do with the rest of my life? I bought a 200-year-old house on a whim. People in town told me stories of her ghosts. You’re the lady who bought that crazy old house, right?’ Yep, that’s me.”
‘Cancer is a gift.’ My husband wrote. I scowled. Widowed at 35 with 3 adopted boys, I was angry as hell.’ Woman’s journey to new love, life thanks to 200-year-old haunted house
‘Rage rushed through me. Her profile picture was a photo of her with MY husband, faces smashed together side by side, smiling ear to ear. Can you imagine? That was MY HUSBAND.’
“I dialed the number. ‘Who are you? Why are you talking to my husband so much?’ She responded with, ‘Who is your husband?’ I told her his name. Her response baffled me. She said, ‘Oh… wow… I KNEW he had to be married.’ As if she was proud of herself.”
‘I lied to you,’ my fiancé said. ‘It has all been a lie.’ I felt sick to my stomach. He told me there had been another incident with the woman from work. Turns out, that was the LEAST of my problems.’
“‘I don’t want to get involved in a relationship with you until she is out of the picture,’ I told him. I asked him outright, ‘Is there anything I should be worried about?’ He reassured me, ‘no.’ I could see there was something on his mind. Nothing prepared me for what followed.”
‘I had to tell them. ‘Your dad died by suicide.’ Words I knew would change their lives forever. Words no child should hear. I had to be honest with them. I was terrified.’
“My husband of 16 years. My best friend. The father to my 9 and 12-year-old beautiful boys. He left that morning for work. He never came home. I never saw his beautiful smile again. He just never came home.”
‘My girlfriend and I were scuba diving. There was an accident. I went too deep for too long. She held her breath, and stopped breathing shortly after. She was declared dead.’
“She came to introduce herself, but I was avoiding any contact. The moment my eye caught a glimpse of her though, I knew she would be trouble for me. She was so elegant, but I wanted nothing to do with women. I was rebuilding myself after a life changing accident.”
‘My doctor held my hand and started, ‘Tami…’ In that moment, I knew. I couldn’t breathe because I knew. Or at least I thought I did. My heart exploded with relief!’
“We were walking out of the house when a feather floated right in front of us. As we sat enjoying our morning coffee, another tiny feather made an appearance. On the drive home, I kept thinking … two feathers … what does that mean? But I had a hunch. I went straight to the bathroom and found a pregnancy test.”
‘He is coming!’ I was alone. I was in denial. My husband was deployed. I couldn’t possibly be giving birth without my two partners present.’
“Is my baby boy okay? All I wanted was my husband. Waiting for him to arrive at the hospital felt like a lifetime. When he arrived I collapsed into his arms sobbing. He asked what was wrong, but I could barely get the words out.”
‘I woke up expecting it to be my last day on earth. I bought a bottle of pills and razors. Then I bought a rope. I had 3 different plans and figured one of them had to work.’
“I walked for miles to find an area with a good tree, and no people. I finally found a place. I tied the rope around the tree, and took what I thought would be my last breath. I stepped off the branch. Then, someone called. My phone rang and rang. I finally answered.”
‘I asked my therapist when I would get ‘over it.’ I went from being pregnant with triplets, to hitting rock bottom. Two of my children died. I thought I was OK. I didn’t need someone to talk to.’
“I remember being hesitant. I wasn’t depressed, I was simply a mother longing for the children I would no longer hold in my arms. But, I’m the mother of two children who died, and I faced my own near-death experience, so I promised my husband I would see someone.”
‘His little voice begged me to wake up. ‘Don’t die, mommy. Don’t die, mommy.’ His hug, his kiss and his tenderness, lying next to me for hours as I sobbed.’
“Another fight left me to sleep in the guest room. My middle child, my baby boy, crawled into bed with me as my head throbbed and I couldn’t’ stop the room from spinning. Again. My loudest rock bottom came like a whisper – It was his touch.”
