#LoveWhatMatters

‘I was doing her laundry FOR her. She was watching me fold her thong underwear. She just stood there holding the baby! This is ridiculous.’: Mom urges others to remember helping means doing so with ‘no strings attached’

“I was sitting at a coffee shop and overheard (I was eavesdropping) two women behind me. One was complaining about her daughter-in-law who’d just given birth to her grandchild. ‘I offered to help, but this ridiculous!’ she said. Here’s the thing. I’ve learned if we really want to help, we just show up. We ring their doorbell and start unloading their dishwasher or play with their kid while they take a shower. We shove a lasagna in the oven so they don’t have to think about dinner.”

‘I received the two-minute call that ended our marriage, I collapsed. I felt the pain of absolute bewilderment.’: Single father of three recounts divorce, overcoming pain

“I collapsed. I wept before our 3 children. Rebuilding myself like a child, I called my mother in the evening. I told her I was confused and utterly broken. Aged 24, I needed her comfort again. ‘Your father and I love you no matter what happens,’ she said, and my fitful breath slowed. Being a human male, I’m very good at pretending I have things under control. It took a desperate sense of weakness, therefore, to call her.”

‘His daughter didn’t get home until after 9 p.m. each night, then she still had to do her homework and shower before bed. Hearing this child’s schedule was exhausting. Then I had an epiphany.’

“I was at the courthouse when he told me his wife was busy hauling their 8 year-old daughter, who is a few years older than my daughters, to after school activities. Let me see if I remember this correctly. His daughter partook in ten activities. You didn’t read it wrong. TEN.”

‘I am Retarded.’

“One of the staff members decided it would be beneficial for her to wear a medal around her neck that read this. She suggested the staff member wear a medal around HER neck that read, ‘I am Ordinary.’ She was a legend.”

‘I didn’t feel safe in my own home. It took 3 years for me to find the courage to ask for a divorce. I developed stomach ulcers from all the stress. The end was inevitable.’

“I had experienced years of him ‘bending’ the truth, of him telling me I was ‘too much,’ trying to diagnose me with different types of mental illness. Little did I know, there was more to come. I found reserves I never knew I had, but that’s what moms do. We do everything possible to make sure our children don’t get hurt.”

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