maternal

‘I’ve been on maternity leave for exactly 6 weeks. I couldn’t imagine heading back to work today.’: Mom insists it’s just ‘not enough time’ to ‘connect with our babies’

“In 6 weeks that I’ve been home, I haven’t slept more than 4 hours at a time. My days revolve around changing diapers, nursing and pumping, and trying to figure out why my baby is crying. And while my motherly instincts are loud and clear, we are nowhere near a daily routine yet. I couldn’t imagine going back to work right now.”

‘Why did you cut her?! She didn’t give you permission to do that.’ My blood boiled. He just stared, his face blank.’: Doctor performs episiotomy on mother without her permission during childbirth because he had ‘somewhere to be at 7 p.m.’

“Snnniiipppp. My doctor used scissors to cut me open ‘down there’ to make it easier to push the baby out. ‘What did you do?!’ I asked the male, 50-year-old doctor, with fear in my voice. Even the nurses paused. Just 30 minutes before, my doctor told me, ‘I have somewhere to be at 7 o’ clock, so you better be able to push this baby out soon.’ My husband’s rage was rising. I squeezed his hand. ‘We can’t do this now.’”

‘You need your husband’s permission.’ I begged. I didn’t feel maternal. I was told I’d ‘change my mind.’: Woman refused sterilization procedure multiple times, ‘they made me feel dirty’

“Every year during my annual exam, I asked to have my ‘tubes tied.’ My doctor always quickly refused. As I aged, I still didn’t want kids and neither did my partner. This time around, I was about to lose my health insurance. I was told the procedure was ‘reserved for women in their 30s or 40s who had at least 2 children.’ As an adult woman, I needed my husband’s blessing to make decisions about MY body. I was stunned.”

‘My mother traded my sister for a shotgun and pickup truck. I didn’t see her again for 35 years. One day, I got the clever idea to place an ad in the local newspaper. In 1 month, I got THE call.’

“We met at a run-down cafe and I asked all the questions that burned inside me. I was sitting directly across from her. This time, she couldn’t ignore me. I secretly hoped my suspicions were wrong, but the realistic side of me always said, ‘April, why else would she have stayed away?'”

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