miscarried

‘Here we go.’ We started the process of reversing his vasectomy. My husband had no intention of having more children.’: Couple shares adventure of trying-to-conceive after doctor says they have ‘no answers’

“I told Jeremy, ‘We need to talk.’ I was so nervous my voice trembled. I told him, ‘A few days ago I took a pregnancy test. It was positive.’ He gasped and immediately smiled. I continued, ‘but after getting my blood work repeated, my levels are not increasing. I started bleeding on the drive down.’ His smile quickly turned to confusion. ‘So you weren’t pregnant?’ He couldn’t understand how something could begin and end all so quickly.”

‘You’ve caught an infection. If we don’t remove these babies, you will become sepsis. You can die.’ Tears ran down my face. ‘This is not where I hoped to see you,’ my doctor said. Neither did I.’

“‘You are having twins!’ I looked at my husband. We were in total shock. When we went to the doctor experiencing bleeding, we were sure something else was the issue — not twins. It was a dream come true. Minutes later, I sat on the toilet. I heard a ‘pop.’ I felt this flow of water between my legs.”

‘My girl looked at us, tears in her eyes. ‘I don’t get a baby brudder?’ My heart shattered.’ Mom details ‘adoption roller coaster’ in the wake of father’s tragic death

“She’s chosen you!’ My husband and I sat outside the room and stared at each other, about to open a door that’d change the rest of our lives. We took each other by the hand, flashed timid smiles. As we entered, I could feel that something was off. I could see cars driving, people walking, life moving by. As for me, time seemed to stand still.”

‘My miscarriage crushed me. I screamed and cried in the nursery closet, clenching my son’s wubby so hard my palms bled. I was inconsolable.’

“Now you’re left exhausted, thinking what the hell did we just do? Am I an imposter because I failed? I flipped my mindset. It felt good to dive into something again, which started with ripping up all the carpet in the upstairs of our house. There was no sense in avoiding a room meant for a nursery when I could change it into a usable space.”

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