momstrosity

‘Private conversations are not to be confused with public gossip. A good friend is hard to come by.’: Mom’s candid advice on adult friendships, ‘If you have one, hang on tight. Life is easier when you find your people.’

“Mean Girls is so 2004. It is not funny to exclude people on purpose. It is not cute to be nice to someone’s face and tear them apart the minute they leave the room. If you do it to others, it’s only a matter of time before you turn on me. Nice people are my kind of people.”

‘Sarah never even remembers a snack for her kid.’ I couldn’t believe all the crap they were talking about their ‘friend.’: Mom overhears rude comments on playground, insists ‘mom guilt’ is already intense, no need to amplify ‘shame’

“Today at the playground, I heard a group of moms who must have been the ambassadors of the Mom Shame Committee. I could not believe all the crap they were talking about their ‘friend.’ I need you to know that your children are not perfect. The quicker you can get that in your head, the better.”

‘Listen to me, you precious, fresh faced man-child.’: Mom pens hilarious letter for kids ‘too old to trick-or-treat’

“Your voice suddenly sounds like Barry Manilow half the time and a baby mouse the other half? I get it! Things are a-changin’ in your life. You suddenly have a desire to seem cool, but also, you are like, REALLY into the idea of walking around the neighborhood with your friends to collect a huge bag of candy. I’ll welcome you to my candy pail without a sarcastic comment or jab.”

‘My daughter has a sister, it’s complicated. I was almost ‘Mama’ to that sweet girl.’: Adoptive mom ‘heartbroken’ after daughter’s biological sister not placed with their family

“Seven months ago, my husband and I were in the back seat of a friend’s car on the way to dinner when the phone rang. It was a social worker. She told us that a baby had been born into foster care– our daughter had a biological sister. We could take a couple of days to decide, but we needed to let her know ASAP if we were interested. I had a full-blown panic attack.”

‘My core friends left me forever. Girls can be mean. Women can be vicious. It’s terrifying to put yourself out there.’: Mom says making REAL new mom friends is scary, but when you do, ‘hang on to it’

“My husband, who is usually ridiculously patient, pulled out his phone. He gently suggested I stop whining and tried selling me on potential new friendships with everyone he knew: What about Tom’s wife? She seems nice? Maybe Tammy from work? I bet you’d like her. ‘No, dear husband, everyone knows Tammy is literally the worst. She’s always trying to sell magic stretch-mark cream to whoever will listen. She is a know-it-all and a gossip.’ I wasn’t having it.”

‘My daughter darted away in a crowded mall. There was no sign of her.’: Mom terrified after losing daughter in mall, reminds parents ‘how quickly a child can get away’

“I frantically asked a lady at a kiosk if she had seen my daughter. She looked up at me confused and asked how she got away. Where was I? Why wasn’t her dad watching her? I ignored her questions and told her to call security before I darted away. After an hour of me violently shaking, the guilt set in. The kiosk lady’s words began to repeat in my head.”

‘I have stretch marks, saggy skin, a weird fat fold around my C-section scar. I don’t really love myself. This has to stop.’: Mom insists weight does not define us, cannot keep letting ‘my imperfections consume me’

“I can’t pass this on to my daughters. I can’t have them looking at their bodies in search of flaws. I don’t want them to put all of their worth in what they see in the mirror. I want them to know, what I still am trying to convince myself. We might have fat, but we are not fat. This is not WHO we are.”

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