North Carolina

‘I hate you! I want a different mom!’ He is getting bigger, I have to physically restrain him.’: Mom says son’s childhood has been ‘violently stolen’ due to PANDAS/PANS diagnosis, ‘It’s sad, unfair, heartbreaking’

“I wrote the single hardest thing: ‘I don’t like being a parent.’ His meltdowns consist of screaming, hitting, throwing, breaking things, slamming doors, spitting, you name it. I have to restrain him. I poured my heart out, frustrated, at my wits end. Then I got a message. ‘I think your son has PANDAS/PANS. My son does, and I think you need to have him tested.’ Then the warning came: Some people don’t believe in this diagnosis.”

‘I got on the bus. 3 boys yelled at me, ‘Hey white boy!’ ‘Mom, I was nervous.’ After all, I was the only white boy on the bus. They asked if I use the N-word. ‘No,’ my Stepdad is black. He’s my family.’

“Austin, my son with autism, asked him, ‘Have you killed anyone in a war?’ I quickly tried to hush him up. He looked at Austin and said, ‘No, but I know bullets can kill.’ Austin looked perplexed. ‘Do you like video games?’ ‘Yes, I love video games.’ Austin smiled from ear to ear.”

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