nurse

‘I missed the sign, Daddy. I am so sorry. I never imagined this would be the last time I’d see you. I’m so glad I took this photo with you. It became your obituary photo.’

“You called me to ask about a project, and prior to the call, you texted as well. You promised to come to see me Monday and help me move out of the dorm. We were going to have a ‘daddy-daughter date,’ but 40 minutes later, I got the call I never expected. I had 37 missed calls. Daddy, you never even crossed my mind.”

‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’

“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”

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