PCOS

‘When I was 19 I woke up screaming in pain, as if I was in labor. A million knives were stabbing my stomach. I tried to get to the bathroom, but I couldn’t stand. It became a regular occurrence.’

“I was told it was ‘just the pill’ or ‘just a bad period’ and it was ‘nothing to worry about.’ One doctor told me it was ‘just arthritis’ in my back from being a dancer. I’d never have another boyfriend because one guy had already gotten angry at me for bleeding on his bed sheets.”

‘Holy FREAKING COW,’ I yelled. FOUR babies?! Is that even possible? I wasn’t even doing IVF! There must be a mistake, I can’t be having four babies! But there they were, quadruplets.’

“The doctor gasped, ‘Oh.’ I couldn’t bring myself to look. But when I did, there were 2 babies – twins! ‘Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.’ But wait. Now it’s triplets?! How. Does. This. Happen. We would need a bigger house. Then, she replied, ‘‘No, all FOUR are healthy with heartbeats.’ FOUR?!?!”

‘Doctors told me I was ‘lying.’ I hadn’t started my period. Before I took the birth control, I took a pregnancy test. It was POSITIVE!? We bought 5 more tests. All of them were positive!’

“I was having vivid, strange dreams. A neighbor said, ‘Are you pregnant?’ I said ‘no’ and cried. A switch flipped in me. I became crazy emotional. I was having day dreams about drilling a hole in my head or cutting it off. I went to doctor after doctor. They all said that it was because of my weight.”

‘We have an 8-month-old little boy. Are you able to take him?’ I was shaking as I held the phone. I said ‘yes’ instantly. ‘Ok, he should be there in the next hour.’

“Two caseworkers knocked on our door. I eagerly welcomed them as they placed this chunky, beautiful little boy into my arms. He was terrified. He had no idea where he was. ‘You need to know, foster care is about re-unification. The goal is to get these kids back home to family.’ My heart sunk. ‘Wait, but what about me?”

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