post traumatic stress disorder

‘I saw my kids dead, over and over. It was my constant fear.’: Mom suffers severe PTSD after losing daughter to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood

“I lived in terror after my daughter died. I had to turn on the light every 5 minutes to check on my kids, because I knew for certain one of them had stopped breathing. I didn’t realize I had PTSD. I just felt like I was losing my mind. I was so stressed, the panic just kept coming. Many people think PTSD only happens to soldiers. It doesn’t.”

‘Mom she’s gone, I just know.’ I sat on my stairs with my front door open, in shock.’: How this ‘broken’ mother helps other parents of child loss heal after her own tragedy

“Seeing my sweet baby girl laying in a huge bed, much too big for her, made me fall to my knees. A nurse said to me, ‘Get off the floor, it’s so dirty.’ I was angry at her, I was angry at the hospital chaplain placing his eerie hand on my shoulder with no real comfort. No parent should have to write their child’s eulogy, or decide between a casket or an urn. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”

‘I peeked in her bedroom. As I walked closer, I looked at her white feet and knew something was wrong. My brain snapped.’ Mother tragically loses daughter to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood

“‘I’m sorry, we have to do this when a child dies in the home. It’s so hard for you,’ the investigator said. They found no cause of death. It is so rare, and the last thing I want to do is cause fear in someone else, but it’s a very real and possible thing that can happen.”

‘I was an intern. He was the manager. I was in his home with his wife and kids. He knew what he did was wrong, but that he could get away with it. That same year, the unthinkable happened.’

“I didn’t know what to say or do. I was frozen. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t concentrate. My mind pretended like it never happened. I felt like I couldn’t ‘risk my career’ by speaking up, so I remained silent. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Just graduate and get a job.’”

‘I was afraid of having a girl because of my mother. Into my teens, she taunted me about my weight. I was terrified.’: Mom’s candid fear about having daughter after her mom caused childhood PTSD, eating disorder

“The ultrasound technician asked me, ‘Alright, are you ready?’ I asked with excitement, ‘Is it a boy?!’ She shook her head. ‘Nope.’ ‘It’s a girl?’ I was hoping I misunderstood her. ‘Yes,’ she said. My heart sank. I felt it would be impossible to have a successful relationship with a daughter.”

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