PPD

‘I saw my kids dead, over and over. It was my constant fear.’: Mom suffers severe PTSD after losing daughter to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood

“I lived in terror after my daughter died. I had to turn on the light every 5 minutes to check on my kids, because I knew for certain one of them had stopped breathing. I didn’t realize I had PTSD. I just felt like I was losing my mind. I was so stressed, the panic just kept coming. Many people think PTSD only happens to soldiers. It doesn’t.”

‘I can do this, right?’ I scanned the faces around me, absolutely mortified. ‘Of course. Just take your shirt off!’ Peopled waved, said hello. Where were the looks of disgust?!’ Mom embraces plus-size beach body to set example for daughter

“I spent years trying to sabotage my marriage in hopes he’d leave me for someone skinny. Day after day, I’d tell myself how nasty, disgusting, fat I was. I had no idea my gorgeous daughter was listening. She started saying how fat she was. How ugly. I was HORRIFIED. I knew I needed to make a change.”

‘I think I made a mistake. A mistake in having him at all,’ I texted. I wished to GOD I could go back to pre-child life. ‘You are not meant to be a mother,’ I told myself.’ Woman’s severe struggle with postpartum depression

“I vividly remember hearing my baby cry for the first time and feeling… nothing. ‘Mom he looks just like you!,’ the doctor said. I tried to squeeze out a tear because that’s what new moms do, right? I tried to feel happiness. It wasn’t there.”

‘We were forced into an abortion. ‘Don’t hold her too close. Your warmth and heartbeat will confuse her into staying alive.’ We were left alone with our baby as the staff waited for her die.’

“I was given 2 tablets. At 3:43 p.m., I delivered a baby girl. The image seared in my mind is of her little arm stretching into the air. She was alive. ALIVE. Surely, the nurse wasn’t going to let her die, right? But as our girl fought to stay alive, nobody on staff seemed to care.”

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