PPD

‘So, do you think you’re depressed?’ one doctor awkwardly asked me. I replied quietly, ‘I don’t think so?’ all while screaming, ‘I just wanted to be saved.’ This was the biggest mistake of my life.’

“If I dared to mark the box that said I had suicidal thoughts daily, I would be hospitalized. If I marked those terrifying boxes that my life was just too much for me to handle, I was admitting to the world I was ‘crazy’. I would lose everything I held dear.”

‘I vividly remember. My right arm held the new baby I birthed less than 24-hours ago. My left held my foster son, patting his new sister on the foot. I felt so much joy and so much pain.’

“We sat in the courtroom and listened to the story of lives that had been destroyed. We watched as the judge decided our son could no longer live with his biological parents. I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t relieved. I struggled with feeling I wasn’t enough for these two babies 15 months apart. I believed the lie.”

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