raising children

‘I hope they’ll see a mother who spoke up. I hope they see a woman who got married but still maintained her identity.’: Mom reflects on what she hopes her children ‘see’ in her as they get older

“I hope they see a woman who just shows up—even if it’s with a messy bun and overstretched yoga pants. A woman who stood, flopped, failed, fell, then rose again when she was ready. She didn’t fake it until she made it, she just came in and was honest about who she was.”

‘Well, he LOOKS normal.’ By lunchtime our kiddo has scratched, punched doors, hurt his sibling, thrown toys and spit on us.’ Mom explains tiring struggle raising her ‘extreme child’

“We have been up all night comforting our child’s night terrors and when they finally wake up for the day, they are wild and feral as if they were shot out of a cannon. We find ourselves crying into bathroom towels, fearing this will be the final straw that causes our boss to fire us.”

‘His daughter didn’t get home until after 9 p.m. each night, then she still had to do her homework and shower before bed. Hearing this child’s schedule was exhausting. Then I had an epiphany.’

“I was at the courthouse when he told me his wife was busy hauling their 8 year-old daughter, who is a few years older than my daughters, to after school activities. Let me see if I remember this correctly. His daughter partook in ten activities. You didn’t read it wrong. TEN.”

‘As a mom, you just KNOW. Something didn’t feel right. Cars zipped by on the busy street. I trembled as we made our way to the front of the building. We were only a few steps away. I wanted to run, but I didn’t.’

“I wish I could’ve jumped into one of those passing cars and pretended it never happened. That I hitchhiked, ran away, disappeared. I thought we could find someone to ‘fix’ my son. As the woman in the office spoke, I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth. I knew the word that would come. I didn’t believe her.”

This stage of life? It’s hard too.

“In this stage, you finally feel like you have some time and yet, you are running out of time. The 40s are consistently very confusing and yet, very satisfying.”

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