shame

‘Where’s my phone?!’ My arms, legs began to shake. I lost my vision. I lay on the bathroom floor, alone, no cellphone.’: Woman says mental illness ‘humbled’ her, reminds us ‘it’s okay to be different’

“I woke up feeling a little off, but brushed it off. I signed my kids into their classes, headed upstairs to find a seat in the auditorium. Then, I felt the shift. ‘This is where I needed to be.’ I had commitments, and I needed to be okay. But heat flooded my body. The beautiful music became an overwhelming noise. I decided to escape. There was no warning, no time to prepare.”

‘I found his gun while blacked out. I held it to my head, trying to pull the trigger. His roommate ripped it away.’: Woman’s life has changed ‘drastically’ since becoming sober, turned her ‘nightmare’ into a ‘blessing’

“I felt awful, like I had hundreds of other mornings. But this day, something was different. My friend told me a story of my actions. While blacked out, I ran behind the bar where my ex worked. I started hitting him. Something in me snapped. THAT was my breaking point. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was quiet for a moment, then I said with tears in my eyes, ‘That’s it. I’m done.’”

‘They grow up fast. You’ll miss this someday.’ REALLY? I’m going to miss being tortured by my 2 kids wrestling like bear cubs in a grocery store?’: Mom says it’s okay to ‘not love every part of motherhood,’ admits her kids can be ‘brutally annoying’

“I was at the grocery store today with my kids when I said a little too loudly, NOT in my mom voice, ‘I love you, but you’re REALLY annoying me.’ A young couple walked by, with no kids. ‘Well, that was brutally honest.’ I was judgingly told I’d miss this part of motherhood. I promise, I won’t. And it’s totally OK to tell your kids they’re being annoying when you’ve broken up 19 fights before you even got to the store.”

‘Divorce isn’t an option. 19-year-old bride, you begin slowly dying. You feel so trapped.’: Young woman feels ‘shame’ for wanting to end ‘picture perfect’ marriage, but had to ‘save’ herself

“‘I met the man I’m going to marry,’ you told your friends. You’re 19 when you first lay eyes on him. From the moment you learn he’s going to be a pastor, you know this is the life for you. Neither of you knew what you were signing up for. You thought if you found a Christian man, one willing to wait to have sex until marriage, life will be perfect. Now, you flinch when touched.”

‘Kids shouldn’t have kids.’ Shame spread over me. As a teen, I couldn’t hide my big belly.’: Teen mom explains why she ‘kept her baby’ at 16-years-old

“I had no money, no desire to be a mother. ‘You’re 6 weeks along.’ She pointed to a picture on a paper. ‘A heartbeat? Already?!’ 5 minutes ago I didn’t even know I was pregnant. It seemed so fast, too fast for me. I knew some would think I slept around, that I was promiscuous. I knew girls would talk.”

‘After 3 miscarriages, I was told I was ‘selfish’ to want more kids. ‘You have 2 babies. You no longer have a right to try.’ I felt hopeless, shameful.’: Woman explains how her marriage grew stronger the ‘year she lost 3 babies’

“When we lost our first baby, it felt more like a fluke. When we lost our second baby, it no longer felt normal; it felt like my fault. I was afraid of what it would do to my relationship. Would he blame me? Was I letting him down? Did he CARE? Those questions became my insecurities.”

‘I made friends with Ben. He was good looking, had a job, a wife. He looked like he had it all, but Ben tried to commit suicide.’: Woman urges that depression is not just ‘a woman’s problem’

“Ben told me his wife went behind his back and called health professionals. She told his doctor, she let his boss know, she spoke to his family and friends. At first, he was angry with her, but with tears in his eyes he looked at me and said, ‘She went behind my back, but she saved my life.’ And she did.”

‘My brother molested me as a teenager. Later in life, he became a youth pastor.’: Woman’s harrowing journey overcoming sexual abuse, brother’s resignation from church

“I finally mustered up the courage to tell my friend. She and her husband worked with my brother in the youth group. ‘I have to tell you, I’m not surprised by this.’ She said she had seen red flags and strange behavior from my brother and always thought there was something off. Eventually, he confessed.”

‘On my wedding night, she grabbed me by the shoulders. ‘This will be the last time we see each other,’ she said, tears in her eyes. She was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. There were so many red flags.’

“I looked at her, puzzled. ‘Don’t be so dramatic. I’ll see you tomorrow at the house.’ Little did I know, these words were going to be our last. She decided to go out with a bang, turning what was supposed to be a joyous day into a painful one. She couldn’t bare to see me happy.”

‘This is weird, but I feel like I know you.’ My heart dropped. ‘Were you adopted?’ Yes. ‘How old are you?’ 40. ‘I gave birth to a child 40 years ago.’: Woman gives son up for adoption, runs into him 40 years later at supermarket

“The mutual dreams. The age. The feeling. It all seemed to align by some inexplicable magic. He didn’t speak. He only sobbed, my tears flowing with him. I was never a believer in miracles. But this? This felt like a miracle of the utmost kind. The universe brought us together. It’ll take an army to tear us apart.”

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