“When my marriage imploded, I didn’t shed a tear. Up until the split, I had been a stay-at-home oilfield wife. I home-schooled the children. It started to hit me. Great big tears poured from my eyes as I walked across the stage. I turned to my kids in the crowd. We did it, together.”
‘MOM YOU DID IT!’ I had gone from a married stay-at-home, homeschooling mother, to a single mom of 4 and nursing school graduate. And then it finally happened. I cried.’: Single mom’s empowering journey navigating ‘messy divorce’
‘I choked out, ‘So, their dad and I are no longer living together.’ 8 months into fostering two of the girls, and 2 months after saying ‘yes!’ to adopting, my children’s father and I separated.’
“We had 5 kids and had just celebrated 6 years of marriage. Our entire life crashed, the walls built with facades and fantasies. I was secretly dying inside. It was silent, painful. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be taking family photos without a husband, my children’s father.”
‘What are ya’ll doing here?’ She had a peculiar look on her face. ‘We have something to tell you.’ ‘If you’re pregnant or dropping out of school, you might as well leave now! GET OUT!’
“I heard the words ‘Oh crap!’ We shockingly stared at the pregnancy test. ‘What do I do?!,’ I asked. ‘You have to tell your mom.’ My mom was a ‘no nonsense’ woman. Everyone knew she was NOT to be played with. I had to tell her in public. We showed up, unannounced, at her job.”
‘My husband left me after going into a depression. He just kept saying it was ‘his problem.’ He decided this life, our life, wasn’t for him.’
“He was stuck in a marriage he didn’t want to be in. The night we separated he told me he loved me but, ‘Not in that way’ anymore. He told me not to cry, he couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t breathe.”
‘I can tell by the tears in your eyes no one has believed you, have they?,’ he asked. ‘No, they haven’t.’ He then replied, ‘Well I believe you.’ I had felt like a crazy person.’
“This man was 11 years older than me. We ended up getting married. I felt pressured into this marriage, as if I had no other option. So I did. He had dark secrets. I remember screaming for help. But no one would.”
‘Everyone wants a Prince Charming. That’s what I thought I found. I was head over heels and got pregnant within a few months. I ignored the warning signs.’
“Things started to change very rapidly. My possessions were stolen, our new baby gifts pawned, my hard-earned money taken. I only knew he was alive when I would see him post Craigslist ads seeking drugs. There was no turning back.”
‘He looked me straight in the eye. ‘I’m sure you’re aware this is a FINAL decision. Once I sign off, you cannot change your mind.’ They’re a sibling group of 3, and 2 of them had special needs.’
“‘Morning mama. It’s adoption day.’ Butterflies filled my stomach. The girls and I dolled ourselves up to reflect what was on the inside. Joy and beauty. We went to the courthouse. Then, my lawyer pulled me aside. There had been a miscommunication. My heart dropped.”
‘He was cute, and I was curious. When I read the message, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. ‘NO REAL MAN IS GOING TO WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO DOES THIS.’
“I started believing the lies. I had no business online dating – it was for people who have more freedom as a single person. I mean, I have a minivan! A minivan doesn’t exactly scream, ‘I’m dating material here,’ you know? What guy would want me?”
‘What’s wrong?’ My tattoo artist emerged from the back, visibly shaking, crying. ‘I just HAD to take in this moment.’: Mom loses twins, ‘uncommon’ first names combine to match name of tattoo artist’s late grandmother
“He’d gone back to trace the footprints of my babies, Leonor and Buchanan, both stillbirths. I was wondering what was taking so long, and started to worry my tattoo couldn’t be done. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m crazy,’ he said. ‘But my grandmother’s name was Leonor Buchanan. She just passed.’ I looked at him in complete shock.”
‘Who the f*ck are you sneaking around with?,’ he screamed. Before I could answer, he threw the phone at my head. I had to hide my eyes from my son. ‘I can’t let him see me like this.’
“He bugged my bedroom to be able to hear everything I did, and every conversation I had. Eventually, he convinced me to move in with him. ‘I don’t want to lie to him.’ I would apologize with tears flowing down my face.”
