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‘The receptionist says, ‘Peter will be out with you soon.’ I smile and think, Peter? Peter better be a girl. Don’t panic. He says, ‘Laura?’ Real slowly. I sigh and say, ‘Yep that’s me.’ FML.’

“I never get pimples on my back. Never… but occasionally my body says, ‘Hey, remember what it’s like to be 14? Well here’s an eruption for you and I got a real big juicy one right in the middle of my back.’ I think it’s all good because, she’s a woman, she will get it. ‘No no no No. NO.'”

‘He asks: ‘How was your day today, what did you do?’ You think: Well, I was woken at 7 a.m. while I was in blissful deep sleep by a loud bloodcurdling scream because the baby poo exploded.’

“To say there was crap everywhere was an understatement. The toddler was also angry because he could hear commotion and he wasn’t involved, so he started screaming too. Finally, ready to leave, woohoo! Victory! Except, I’m still in pajamas and I’m pretty sure I have poo on my top…”

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