suicidal thoughts

‘What’s that? It could be something sinister. You might have a tumor.’ I got fired for being ill.’: Young woman diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome after countless tests, ‘I was getting sicker and sicker, but with no answers’

“I was sobbing in bed one night angry at God. ‘Why won’t you take the pain away?!’ I had worked so hard despite being unwell, pushing myself to achieve. I got the grades to study music, my true passion, but was too unwell to go! I was gutted. The emergency doctor uttered the word ‘stroke.’ I was in disbelief. I was only 19 years old.”

‘That should do it.’ I grabbed the Xanax I’d talked my friend into giving me, grabbed a beer, swallowed.’: Woman survives suicide attempt overdosing on pills, ‘My husband saved me, those grandbabies. It scares me to think I almost missed all of this’

“I watched as Bradley Cooper’s character glanced at the camera and pulled down the garage door. I couldn’t breathe. I knew what he was going to do. I knew what he was feeling. I glanced at my husband, who was now sound asleep. I started to cry. I knew those feelings intimately. It has been 4 years for me.”

‘Nicole, I had NO IDEA.’ I almost took my own life. I hid it so well. No one knew.’: Woman reminds us to ‘always be kind’ after battling suicide, ‘you never know the battles someone is facing’

“If it weren’t for my sister calling me right before, I wouldn’t be here. She had no idea I’d just written a letter saying ‘goodbye.’ No one knew I was suffering. No one asked if I was okay. I shared only the good parts of my life, never the struggles. My family thought my life was beautiful and amazing.”

‘You don’t cook enough. Your husband would be better off without you.’ I’m suicidal, but I don’t want to die.’: Woman battling suicide urges us to ‘speak out’ during mental turmoil, ‘it will save your life’

“I am an outgoing and relatively happy woman, but my hormones were out of whack. I was sleep deprived. ‘You talk too much. You slacked on the laundry and now look at this pile! Your car is disgusting. Your friends are tired of your complaining.’ Something inside said, ‘Tell your husband.’ I was scared. If I lost my battle with my mind, he would never forgive himself.”

‘A bartender who doesn’t drink? You can’t be good at this.’ These bottles nearly killed me.’: Confessions of a sober bartender after she almost lost her life to alcoholism

“Customers get offended when I politely decline a shot. I normally get an eye roll with a response like, ‘I don’t trust a bartender who doesn’t drink.’ Here is my answer. Alcohol nearly killed me. I was a ‘drink til I fall off my barstool’ type of drinker. Hell, I could be taking a tequila shower and I still wouldn’t change my mind.”

‘I was not a virgin. BUT I was in my own home. I took my rape and buried it. For 21 years.’: Teenager raped at her own party in high school says she was a ‘broken spirit,’ but learned to ‘survive, be strong’

“When I was 18, I threw a party at my house. I convinced my parents I was grown enough to stay home alone. Enter the sweaty keg in the living room that left a ring on the floor permanently. And the collection of teddy bears my mom kept in the living room drowned in the pool. It was devastating. That night I drank too much and let people I thought were friends, destroy parts of my childhood.”

‘At 13, there was blood on the counter, a strange calm on my mom’s face. She tried to get help.’: Woman candidly shares effects of mother’s suicide, reminds us ‘healing comes in waves’

“I’ve been to my mom’s grave twice. In 20 years. You won’t find a single photo of her in my home. I know this wasn’t her fault. It doesn’t change the effects her illnesses have had on me. None of it changes that her 60th birthday is not a birthday at all, because she is dead. I want to honor her, I really do. But I can’t face the woman who tried to break me.”

‘Which way did he go?’ This was our great escape. My dad was a monster. I was sworn to secrecy.’: Woman credits foster parents for ‘saving’ her through ‘dark times,’ battling suicidal thoughts, sexual abuse, Bipolar disorder

“My friend asked if I wanted to stay the night. I couldn’t, but asked if she wanted to stay at my house. Before I could even finish, she told me ‘no.’ I shrugged it off, no big deal. A week later, she saw my whole family. That’s when I recognized the fear in her eyes. She had not seen my stepdad since then.”

‘Your family is better off without you. You are incompetent, unworthy, and a failure.’: Mom experiences severe depression, says treating it doesn’t make you ‘weak’

“This wasn’t your regular mom-loses-her-crap-sometimes type of situation. I was completely defeated and demoralized. I would snap at them for almost no reason. My kids started apologizing every time they asked me a question because they were worried I was going to get upset for bothering me. I didn’t feel like I needed help. I was wrong.”

‘Unlock the door!’ I begged you. We had a big fight. You wrote your goodbye letter.’: Woman loses veteran husband to suicide, ‘I see you everywhere I look’

“I heard our bedroom door shut. I thought you were just going to shower. Your body hit the floor. You were struggling. I tried to kick it in. ‘How the hell do people do this?!’ I ran downstairs and knocked on the neighbors’ doors. They didn’t answer. I was terrified. Before I could even react, EMTs were rushing upstairs. They put the flag over you.”

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