suicidal thoughts

‘In 1997, at the lowest point in my life, I snapped and bought a gun. I was almost a school shooter.’: Man overcomes abusive childhood, bullying, says ‘kindness’ stopped him from doing ‘the worst thing imaginable’

“When you’ve been told you’re ‘worthless’ enough times, you’ll believe it. I had no home and often slept outdoors. The isolation and bullying became unbearable. I wanted to feel an emotion other than pain. I wanted to feel, for once, like I was in control. If I’d possessed a rifle, I would have been a killer. If I’d known love, I would have never wanted a rifle.”

‘My boss asked me, ‘Are you a virgin?’ I was shocked. He said, ‘We as older people don’t do it like you anymore.’ He took the longest way to get there, but I kept quiet. HE’S MY BOSS, after all.’: Woman recounts sexual assault

“As we got inside, I felt him looking at me. You just get the feeling when someone stares at you. I turned around. He stared at me. I was uncomfortable. He was 30 years older than me. I was scared to go to work. But I faced him. I faced my fears.”

‘Get here now! It’s bad, it’s real bad.’ I jumped out of bed and yelled, ‘We have to go now! Something has happened.’ I knelt down beside him. ‘I am so sorry son, I love you so much Joshua.’

“My fiancé hardly had the car in park. I jumped out and ran down the driveway toward my son. Before I could get to Josh, two police officers held me back. I cried out, ‘My baby, my baby, I want my baby!’ At that moment, I knew my worst nightmare had come true. My precious son was gone in a blink of an eye.”

‘Acid from the airbag burned my eyes. My first thought was, ‘Call Mom.’ I climbed out of my window, dripping in blood. ‘Mom, I crashed the car. I see cops coming. I love you.’: Man overcomes addiction, ‘I own my truth today’

“I walked to my church, 5 miles away in the freezing rain, knowing I may have just seen my father and mother for the last time. I sat in the fourth row. I stared down at the ground, tears still running down my face. I wanted to be able to apologize for what I was about to do.”

‘I noticed a line emerge under my nail. It quickly passed to each finger. I was the ugly girl turning white.’: Woman with vitiligo shows ‘true beauty’ after 32 years of hiding, ‘I no longer live in the shadows’

“At the pool, a boy screamed, ‘‘Look at her feet!’ My parents never asked me how I felt. They just handed me a tube of foundation and told me to keep my secret hidden. I was the only girl in 6th grade wearing makeup. They called me panda bear, monster, dalmatian, and Oreo. I didn’t want to wear it. I had no choice.”

‘I wasn’t the stereotypical addict on the streets with no teeth, begging for money. I had children. I was functioning. I’d get up, eat, go to the gym. Then, I’d go on a bender for days.’

“I’d do whatever I could to distract myself from the fact that I felt alone. I always wanted to stop, but I didn’t know how. People around me knew, but never said anything. It made me feel like it was okay. I didn’t realize I needed to change until I lost my children. I decided if I couldn’t beat this and see my kids again, I’d kill myself.”

‘I asked to borrow his Walkman. ‘Sure, if you let me touch you.’ My brother was breathing heavy in my ear. I froze. He told me not to tell.’: Assault survivor shares emotional journey to peace

“It began out of nowhere. I was frozen, unsure of what was happening. He told me not to tell. I knew something wasn’t right but he was my older brother, so I did what he said. Until one day, we heard my uncle’s car pull into the driveway. As he quickly opened the quickly, my brother rushed to get off of me. ‘What’s going on?!’ My stomach was in knots.”

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