suicide prevention

‘The guy who brought me to the party passed out. I should have left him, but I’m a loyal person. I fell asleep and was awoken by a man’s body on top of mine. I couldn’t move and yelled for help.’

“I remember telling my mom, ‘I would die if something happened to you.’ She always reassured me, ‘I’m not going anywhere Erica.’ I whole-heartedly believed she would live forever. Then she started complaining of severe headaches. Selfishly, I thought, ‘Well if God took my Grannie, he can’t take my mom too.'”

‘I remember thinking, ‘What the hell is conversion therapy?’ She introduced me to ‘Pastor Jake.’ He was going to ‘take good care of me.’ I immediately wanted to leave.’

“He told me how he is an ‘ex-gay.’ After he placed the ‘electrodes’ on my body, he turned on the projector. He showed me ‘homoerotica’ images, and if I became ‘excited,’ it would send a shock throughout my entire body. He did it repeatedly until I passed out. He told me he ‘didn’t need permission from parents.'”

‘Get here now! It’s bad, it’s real bad.’ I jumped out of bed and yelled, ‘We have to go now! Something has happened.’ I knelt down beside him. ‘I am so sorry son, I love you so much Joshua.’

“My fiancé hardly had the car in park. I jumped out and ran down the driveway toward my son. Before I could get to Josh, two police officers held me back. I cried out, ‘My baby, my baby, I want my baby!’ At that moment, I knew my worst nightmare had come true. My precious son was gone in a blink of an eye.”

‘Help me get daddy out!,’ she begged. ‘He won’t like being dirty.’ I took her to see his grave. She started digging up the dirt, crying her little heart out. We sobbed until we had no more tears to cry.’

“She was 3. That was the last time I took her to his grave. She told me her ‘heart hurt too’ much and she didn’t want to go back. She asks if our family can die and ‘be a star in the sky with daddy.’ I go straight into Mommy mode and reassure her we can’t be stars. It’s not our time.”

‘I really messed up Will. I’ll call you soon.’ Nothing prepares you for this. I pulled over and lost it. I look back at conversations I had with my sister and tears run down my cheek.’

“Emily was such a gifted kid. I was the jealous older brother. I always thought she would be going places. Until things changed. We received a large inheritance from our grandmother’s passing. It was like a switch. ‘I never want to see or speak to you again,’ I said to my sister.”

 Share  Tweet

Queries: 100 Timer: 0.16529

Cache Hits: 4314 Cache Misses: 526