suicide

‘Miss, I have your father’s autopsy results,’ the coroner said. ‘He felt absolutely nothing.’ I quickly asked, ‘It wasn’t an overdose?!’ ‘No drugs were detected, ma’am.’ I cried hysterically.’

“‘We can’t reach him,’ he said. My grandpa was at my dad’s apartment trying to get in. Police arrived. ‘Do we have permission to break in?’ The officer kicked the door down. ‘Dad!,’ my sister screamed. A police officer held our grandpa back. ‘Dana wake him up, get him up!’ All she could say was, ‘Grandpa, I am so sorry.'”

‘A woman had just given birth and wanted my husband and I to raise him. She didn’t even give the baby a name before she left. This tiny little boy had absolutely no one.’

“I knew right away this baby was destined to be ours. Mike and I had settled into a routine of pinching pennies, sharing domestic duties, and bonding with our little guy, when my world was shattered once again. For reasons of which I’m still not entirely sure, my loving husband, Brenden’s father, took his own life.”

‘So, do you think you’re depressed?’ one doctor awkwardly asked me. I replied quietly, ‘I don’t think so?’ all while screaming, ‘I just wanted to be saved.’ This was the biggest mistake of my life.’

“If I dared to mark the box that said I had suicidal thoughts daily, I would be hospitalized. If I marked those terrifying boxes that my life was just too much for me to handle, I was admitting to the world I was ‘crazy’. I would lose everything I held dear.”

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