weight loss

‘You’d be SO MUCH prettier if you lost weight.’ I was 10. My siblings got juice, while I was only offered water. When we got into fights, ‘fatty’ was their low blow.’

“With a disgusted look, my own trainer asked, ‘Why are you SO overweight?’ I felt like I was just punched in my (fat) gut. I cancelled my gym membership and dropped out of high school. Ashamed and embarrassed, I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry. I always felt in competition with my siblings.”

‘After 6 months of marriage, he sat down and said, ‘I’m not happy, and it’s because of you.’ I told him to get out of our apartment, and be moved out by the time I got back.’

“When he was leaving me, I asked him, ‘Why did you lie? Why did you say you loved me and recite vows to me on our wedding day if you never had intentions of seeing it though?’ He replied, ‘It takes two to have a dysfunctional relationship.’ He was right. I wasn’t dysfunctional any longer.”

‘My daughter started bawling and wouldn’t let go of me. ‘All you do is sleep!’ My friends would say, ‘You’re a single mom. It’s normal to be tired.’ I knew something was wrong.’

‘It was happening at home, at work, at the grocery store. When I got home, I would give my daughter a snack and immediately go to sleep. Every time I got up to use the restroom, my heart rate would shoot up. I started teaching my 8-year-old how to call 911 if I couldn’t make it to the phone.”

‘Doctors told me I was ‘lying.’ I hadn’t started my period. Before I took the birth control, I took a pregnancy test. It was POSITIVE!? We bought 5 more tests. All of them were positive!’

“I was having vivid, strange dreams. A neighbor said, ‘Are you pregnant?’ I said ‘no’ and cried. A switch flipped in me. I became crazy emotional. I was having day dreams about drilling a hole in my head or cutting it off. I went to doctor after doctor. They all said that it was because of my weight.”

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