“‘How would you feel about the 5 of us moving back home with you and Dad?’
Never in a million years would I have ever imagined we would move in with my parents, two months before the triplets were born. At the time we were in a small 2-bedroom beach condo and there was no way it was going to work for us, not just because of the size, but financially as well.
I remember the conversation vividly with my parents. My parents have always been so loving and gracious, but bringing in a very pregnant daughter, son-in-law and triplets was a lot to ask, and we knew that. However, they didn’t even have to think about it and of course agreed to let us move in. My dad even said, ‘this is an opportunity for me to be there for my grand babies, the way I wasn’t able to be there for you.’ I cried. I cried so hard. I knew it was a second chance for him too, and I knew it would be special. We knew this would be an opportunity for us to save money and have extra help with our babies.
It takes a village to raise your kids and we have seen that over and over again. I was very pregnant when we moved in and the move itself was a lot on my triplet pregnancy. Two days after we moved in with my parents I started having contractions and was put on strict bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was on bed rest for two months and during that time my mom was by my bedside all day long while my husband Ry worked. She cooked my meals, drove me to doctor appointments, helped me in the shower, etc. To be honest, she stopped her life to care for me during that time. She didn’t have to, but she did. Now, as a mom, I understand the sacrifices you make for your kids so much more. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
As time would go on I would continue to see my parents’ selfless acts in being there for our family. I had a pretty good pregnancy, considering I was carrying 3 humans, and delivered at 34 weeks and a day. They were about 5 pounds each and spent two weeks in the NICU. I was so excited to bring them home, but I was most certainly in for a rude awakening of sleepless nights which was pure torture.
After many struggles we eventually learned the triplets (ALL 3 of them) had GERD, which is like severe reflux. It was horrible and the culprit to the sleep deprivation and my postpartum depression and anxiety. Each baby needed individual attention during feedings and had to sit upright for at least 30 minutes after every single feeding. My parents would help us feed the babies through the night. My mom and Ry fed at midnight and I did the 3 a.m. shift with my Dad. My dad was actually sad when the triplets finally dropped the 3 a.m. feeding because he so enjoyed the bonding he got to share with each baby in the wee hours of the night. I honestly look back at that timeframe and feel so gracious and loved because I have no idea what would have done without them.
We have been living with my parents now for 3.5 years. I would be lying to you if I said it has been easy because it hasn’t been. We have always said the only way our living situation would work is if we had honest conversations and healthy boundaries, which is something we try really hard to do. Sometimes it has been awkward and uncomfortable, but it is incredibly important to have those hard conversations and be honest with one another.
Fortunately, my mom and I carry very similar parenting styles which is great! However, we have still had to have important conversations about parenting, how WE want to parent, discipline, finances, etc. It is important that we are all on the same page. Ry and I also contribute a monthly rent to help with water, utilities, etc. I know everything has gone up since we have moved in and we are all doing the best we can to be there and support one another.
I can look back at the last 3.5 years and feel extreme gratitude for my parents. They have done a lot for us and have been there on some of the hardest parenting days. But, I’m so looking forward to having a home of our own. So as we browse Trulia and wait on the Lord to present us with the right home for us, I will choose to stand in a place of extreme Thanks because I know my parents have given up a lot to let our entire family move in and share the last few years together.”
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