“Let me start by saying this.
I was always one of those girls who didn’t want to get married. Not because I didn’t want to find love, but because the idea of being tied to one person forever scared the living crap out of me. In the back of my mind I always thought, ‘Well, what if they get tired of me?’ Or even more accurate, ‘What if I get tired of them?’ I just wanted to be my own individual and not be perpetually linked as a ‘duo.’
To put it simply, I’ve always loved being independent. My mom, a single mother, taught me I could do anything on my own if I just believed in myself. Every since I was a little girl, my siblings were always off playing tag or building a fort, and I just couldn’t be bothered. I’d be the first one off in some corner, coloring the walls, creating some elaborate fantasy land in my mind.
When the time struck where conversations shifted from innocent gossip and games to who liked who and who was kissing who behind the bleachers, I wanted no part. There were a few guys interested in me throughout high school and college but any time they’d make that first move to transition from friends to something more, I’d choke and run for the hills.
But all that changed when I met Michael.
It was senior year of college and he lived next door to me. My heart couldn’t help but flutter the second he laid his eyes on mine. And that cute smile and wave he gave? I was DECEASED. But, of course, I was in denial for a while.
The more and more we hung out, the more I believed I couldn’t resist my feelings. And, believe me, I tried. I can’t tell you how many times I’d cancel, tell him I was somewhere I wasn’t. I was sick. I was studying for a test. Until one day, he was tired of the games. And, frankly, so was I.
‘Marlowe, I like you. Like, really like you. Stop running away. Just let me in.’ I felt totally called out! Even more than that? I felt so in love.
And the rest was history.
We’ve now been married for nearly 4 years and have 3 beautiful children. He’s stuck with me through every sickness, every argument, every tear. But what I love most about our marriage is that he knows me so well. And knowing me means giving me space. Understanding that, yes, while we are married and we’re a duo, we are also individuals. When I need space, I get it. When I need time with my girls, I’m gone. When I want to run errands alone, I can. And the same goes for him. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we need to be bound to each other every waking second of every day. But truth is, when the lights go down, there’s no one in the world I’d rather lay next to.
All the more reason why this incident last week INFURIATED me.
You see, I went into the shop because something was wrong with my Honda CR-V. The engine kept making this strange noise and I knew instantly that it didn’t sound good and normal.
On a Saturday morning, I rolled into our local auto shop, alone, to get it checked out. Before I could even mention what was wrong, the person who greeted me said, ‘Where’s your husband?’ I was clearly a bit taken aback. What if I didn’t have a husband? What if my husband had passed away? Why the heck was he asking in the first place?!
A little flustered, I said, ‘At work?’
Before I could even continue, this man looked me in the eye and said, ‘That’ll be $5,000 then.’
My. jaw. dropped.
He then went on to say, ‘No husband. No discussion. $5,000’ and went on a whole tirade about how women are always pulling up not knowing a ‘damn thing’ about cars. In my mind I thought, ‘Yeah, isn’t that the point of an auto shop?’ For others to tell you what’s wrong with your car and FIX it.
The incident reminded me of all the things I had feared as a child. Not being taken seriously as an individual. Not being seen for me, but only as the person who I was married to. As a couple, and not a sole, capable human being. Needless to say, I pulled out of that auto shop real quick, sister.
Ladies, we don’t deserve this kind of treatment. If you know about cars, great. If you don’t, so be it. I, myself, happen to know a ton about cars, but this crappola man would never know that.
My husband was SO angry when I told him about the incident. It was cheapest place to get fixes in town and, for a second, we contemplated going back purely for financial reasons. But after careful consideration we took our business elsewhere. We will not give our money to people who refuse to service or respect women. In fact, when we told them about this incident they gave us a $100 discount!
Good people really do exist. And they totally outweigh the garbage ones.”
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